Meeting the In-Laws

Well, tonight was our first career support group. It was both exciting and deeply awkward. For anyone who has enjoyed meeting their new in-laws for the first time - it felt very similar. You know why you're there, excitement is abound, everyone is checking each other out with a discerning eye, but there's lots of uncomfortable silence.

These women come from all walks of life, have different experiences, and represent almost every career scenario; unemployed, over-employed, underutilized, unhappy, one or two waiting on fame, and lots of "there has to be more than this". I received almost 50 emails in two days when I put the word out in October that I would be holding a career support group aimed at helping people to find "the recipe for rewarding work". It seems lot's of people are chasing happiness and success in this game of work.

In my twenty-five years working with great people in cool companies, I was always surprised how many unhappy and unsatisfied folks were nestled in their cubicles and offices just waiting for something better to come along. After all, I had lived this unfortunate phenomenon myself, so I got it. But, after some radical changes myself, this is my attempt at a science project to see if we can change the lives of these seemingly put-together and hip women by changing their existing career reality.

It wasn't a conscious decision to gather only women. I did have a few men raise their hands, but they SLOWLY backed away when I told them it was a year-long commitment. (stop snickering.) When it came time to conduct interviews and narrow the group down, only the girls had the guts to meet a total stranger in a coffee shop and share their stories, even if one of them did come equipped with mace and her cell phone pre-dialed to 911.

So here we are.....twelve women.....saying nothing in a group designed for sharing. I'm thinking that I quit my job at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation (a job of a lifetime) to take this leap, so I hope they start to talk soon. My rambling is finally interrupted by a brave women - we'll call her Patty - who shares how she's feeling about showing up tonight. This starts a flood of comments from others. It appears my over-the-time excitement is met with a rainbow of emotions on the other end of the spectrum - anxiety, confusion, and even a little fear.

Our conversation quickly turns to what we tell our friends when we bump into each other at the grocery store. All of a sudden I transport myself to an AA meeting and contemplate whether we should kick off our meetings with "Hi, my name is Susan and I am not living up to my full potential!" We decide to call this a focus group, and move away from the sigma that comes from the term "support group". We wrap-up the evening reminding ourselves we are not here to find a job, but taking charge for creating greater career success - as defined by us, and on our terms.

Hopefully, that's enough to bring them back two weeks from now.