Something to Ponder...

I started my first class on the road to my master’s degree last week. I’m studying transpersonal psychology which takes a look at psychology and personal change through the lens of a wholeness approach to the mind, body and spirit connection. For those who’ve read the old posts, you know I’ve been intrigued by the spiritual component and how this impacts human potential for some time now.

Again, if you’re keeping up on our escapades – you probably know those who’ve embraced the concept of “magical thinking” have seen the best results. Yet, it’s intriguing, because we’ve never talked about religion, spirit, source or even dropped the G-word….until our last meeting. It was Jennifer’s words and the awkward silence that followed that still resonates with me today…”through this experience I’ve come to know God, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.”

In retrospect, maybe there wasn’t an awkward silence. Could this be my own hang-up?

After all, Brittany and Laura clearly talked about being spiritual. In our last meeting, Laura mentioned she’s realized she’s always been spiritual being, but maybe not religious, per se. Brittany – well you gotta love her – she’s never hidden the lovely esoteric side or her Buddhist beliefs. In the beginning, it made her stand out a little and somehow, talk a different language. Today, it’s as if we’ve come closer to seeing the world through her eyes.

Or, have I changed or evolved?

Something to ponder in my studies….

Thankful

I have many things to be thankful for on this day. Having a wonderful and supportive family and a husband who always believes in me -- even when it doesn't make sense. Being blessed by simple abundance and having the privilege of loving what I do for the living. And, of course…finding WiFi and Starbucks coffee on Thanksgiving Day in this small town of Shelton, Washington.

On this day, I also receive a few touching emails from the women of this group. It appears they too are feeling grateful and appreciative of our journey over the last year. To all of them, I am eternally grateful that you’ve come into my life. I am a richer person as a result of our friendship. I look forward to honoring this special bond and know in my heart it will last a lifetime.

Enjoy this wonderful day!

The Play Area Exchange

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I’m in the grocery store. I’m excited to hear what’s on Laura’s mind when her name pops-up on my phone. I find a quiet corner near the deli counter where I won’t encroach on anyone’s holiday shopping.

Laura spirits are mostly high these days and it's contagious. Not in a Pollyanna sort of way, but instead really balanced. She’s been incredibly open to following her intuition since our work two months ago and trusting the process. Since then, the signals and resources continue to come to her attention regarding her innovative bag concept. Last month, she attended a meeting that offered her resources for manufacturing in China, an example of someone who launched an accessory company with little design experience, and a woman who successfully brought to life her own dream of designing a successful cosmetic bag. By the way, these addressed all the concerns Laura had regarding next steps. Done.

Today, Laura is at the airport and waiting for a flight. She heads over to the play area with her son and strikes up a conversation with another mother. They chat about children, the holiday travels, and almost as an afterthought, exchange information regarding what they do for a living before they part ways for their respective flights. As Laura excitingly explains, the other mother is a bag designer! This time, she gets the insight she needs on how to find the fabric she's identified. Done.

It's almost as if every time Laura puts this project in a drawer so she can focus on life, small tugs keep coming back to remind her of the intentions she put out on October 7th at the Columbia Tower Club. It's not just about the bag any longer; it's about knowing her dreams have been put out into the gap that holds infinite possibilities. In spirit, she's already a successful entrepreneur and now she just needs to take small steps, see where it takes her, and be open to what's she being called to do next.

It’s the beginning of a spectacular adventure – this I know for sure.

Too Good to Quit Now

We congregate six weeks post coming out party. The energy is palpable and the conversation brisk as we attempt to catch up on each other’s lives before the official kick-off of the meeting. It’s been too long – we agree. And, there is a daunting awareness that the clock is ticking as we move closer to our final meeting in December. So much so, you can hear comments on how we’ll miss the energy, discovery and accountability once the New Year is upon us.

The impending demise of the group causes us to spend the night vacillating between the success of the coming out party and reminiscing about the beginning of this amazing journey in comparison to our lives today. We know we’ve evolved in ways unimaginable just eleven months ago. Brittany is doing art again, is traveling to India to fulfill a dream, and has given herself permission to trust the right things will come her way. This couldn’t be further away from Brittany’s steadfast conviction she couldn’t blend art and work. Laura shows up tonight exuding confidence, is living more in the moment, and knows innovation is the secret to loving work. I’m convinced this is the start of a whole new chapter in her life. I could go on and on; Jennifer who is now guided by spirit and the clarity she’s here to create a connectedness across cultures. Or, Meg who’s continuing her journey and vows to relive the lessons until she has the same level of clarity many of us enjoy today. I’m excited about the stories that are unfolding.

Kelly also joins us after missing the party in October. We are in awe of her courage, honesty and vulnerability as she talks about her inner struggle that held her hostage that night. People echo the sentiments I shared individually with Kelly in our last check-in; we miss her when she doesn’t show up. She has an innate ability to ask insightful questions and brings a depth to our conversations. Kelly assures us she’s taking the necessary steps to be kinder to herself. The conversation serves as a reminder that this work can be very challenging. And for that reason, I am even more proud of those who’ve had the courage to throw themselves into this experiment whole-heartily, take risks and go after what they want.

As we relive our experiences, we revel in the success we’ve created together. A community has been built that defines words. And, we realize we’re not done. It's too good to quit now. Stopping would be premature. The group is on a roll and we are ready to put some energy into our dreams. Therefore, we opt to continue our gatherings into 2010.

We hope you’ll come along.

A Shift in Thinking

For those folks who secretly read my blog – sorry for the blackout period. I’ve been furthering my education in the techniques and therapies I use in my consulting and coaching practice. (NLP and Hypnosis) The last few weeks have been intensive and life-changing. And, I’m glad to be back…

First, I confirmed what I already knew from my work over the last eleven months. We can want anything we desire on the conscious level, but if one’s subconscious isn’t on board – we get stuck, don’t take action or self-sabotage. Our limiting beliefs or negative emotions chain us to the themes we’ve created in our life, career or relationships…and the cycle continues. It’s like Brittany vacillating between right-brain work where she feels happy and fulfilled…and then moving to left brain work for its perceived stability…it’s as if she couldn’t see those two worlds existing together. Now, she’s brought those parts together and is exploring options for the future. And, this was after a very brief intervention and a stand-alone technique.

I’ve always known the alternative therapies of NLP were powerful, but the results over the last few weeks have been amazing. So much so, I’m confused why mainstream coaches, therapists and yes, even businesses aren’t embracing this powerful toolbox. If we can remove mental barriers through a comprehensive break-through session in a period of hours, allowing us to be more productive, creative, empowered, successful and happy – why aren’t more people doing it?

I’ve had good conversations about his topic over the last few months. There are a few folks in the group that believe that change takes time, even years, and we can’t change our beliefs or release negative emotions that hold us captive. I think we need a shift in thinking. I say hold on to that belief until you are ready to experience rapid change and step into your full potential in a whole new way.

Look out world, here I come!

Phony Positivity

I was inflamed and disappointed listening to NPR today. Disappointed because I like Barbara Enrenreigh, but annoyed by the interview on her new book, Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. I think the title speaks for itself. Based on our experiment, I say she couldn’t be more wrong.

I haven’t read the book, but I found her anecdotal approach just depressing. I suspect the book is rich with information to support her argument, but I couldn’t help but wonder how her pessimistic and overly skeptical intellectual approach blocked her capacity to see the all the evidence, as well, that points to the benefits of positive thinking. Our group is living proof that taking a more optimistic and resilient mindset allows us to shift perspectives, and creates a pathway for a new reality.

I certainly felt compassion for Ehrenreigh’s battle with cancer, as this appears to be the impetus for this anti-positivity campaign. Apparently, she was annoyed by the “phony positively” in the cancer movement. Hello!&# Has she never heard of the power of hope? And, how was she able to judge the intentions and content in other’s minds?

When I met Ericka, from the career empowerment group, almost fourteen years ago I thought she was a total fake. Nobody could be that upbeat, happy and hardy all the time, I thought. Because I wasn’t seeing life through my current rose colored glasses, I made the judgment she wasn’t being real. Maybe Ehrenreigh is making the same judgment I made years ago, and painting all of the US with her broad, pessimistic brush.

Oh, it would have been great if the journalist could have just challenged her thinking, just a bit. Don't worry - I sent them an email.

Speed Dating for Authors

I was ecstatic when I saw the New York area code pop up on my phone. Instinctively, I knew it was a publisher or agent calling to inquire about In Search of Soul Food.

The publishing industry has a certain eHarmony quality to it. You start by sending a brief letter seeing if you can peak their interest. They often play hard to get. I assume based on the outlandish backlog caused by a million people, like me, who feel destined and qualified to write a book. It can take weeks or months to hear back. And, even if they do reply, the response is often short and sweet. So, let’s be honest - getting a phone call this early in the process was like speed dating without notice. I was excited and knew I had only a few minutes to explain the magic.

We ended up talking more about what the book wasn’t early in the conversation…it wasn’t about finding a job. It’s not a prescriptive how-to career guide or mid-career transition guide, per se. In fact, many of the women featured in this book have already taken that route and come up empty handed. No, In Search of Soul Food is different because it contains real-life stories of eleven women who learn the principles of authentic career satisfaction and take their happiness squarely into their own hands.

But it was hard for her to digest that this book wasn’t a traditional career book. Even the word soul awkwardly stumbled out of her mouth as she attempted to complement the book proposal. After all, it was apparent she a devote thinker - like many in my group – and this work is not meant to be intellectualized, but experienced if you want to understand it and allow it to change your life. Finding work that feeds the soul entails letting go of the rational, predictable, thinking mind – if only momentarily – so you can revel in the mystery of life and gather the clues to your life’s work. Even the term soul food or the cliché music that touches the soul attempts to convey an experience that warms or lifts us – in an intangible or sometimes indescribable way. That’s what this book is about; learning to listen and take heed of the soul’s musings so you can create a career, and a life, that warms you from the inside out.

I thanked her for her time, the valuable feedback, and said out loud she probably wasn't right for this project. I know this seems silly for a first-time author, but I need someone who gets it. And, the bell was ringing telling me it was time for another conversation…next!!

No Such Thing as Luck!

It was the first meeting of my new wealth book club and title on our reading list was The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. As the evening was wrapping up, one member declared this guy was just a young person who got lucky. After all, how else could someone make the same income in one week that they used to make in an entire year? And, it was like I had turrets syndrome when I blurted out, “I don’t believe in luck.” I said it so quickly I even caught myself off guard. This was not a sentence I would have constructed a few years ago.

I’ve thought about this statement for the last week and I’ve determined – yes, luck doesn’t exist. There may be synchronicity, but even that phenomena takes action to make things happen. This shift in belief is certainly an outcome of my work over the last year. We talked a lot about Cause and Effect in our group, but maybe we didn't give this conversation enough credence. What is apparent is that those who sit on the cause side of the equation see results within their reach and envision the possibilities by optimizing resilient, optimistic thinking to come up with resources, creative ideas and solutions that didn't exist for most. For Ferris, he must of said to himself, I believe I can work four hours a day and make more money...now, how do I make that happen?

The flip side is sitting on the disempowering side of the equation and responding to things like they are out of our control. For these folks, sitting on the effect side puts self-designed obstacles or circumstances squarely in their path. Reasons and excuses populate their conversations and they sound like a victim most of the time. No wonder they can’t get what they want…maybe they’re waiting for their luck to change?

Yes, even winning the lottery takes buying a ticket and acting with intention. So what do you believe?

Lipstick without a Dream

I received her email a few hours before the coming out party. Though she said she'd be late to our celebration, my gut told me she wouldn’t show up at all that evening. As I drove to the Columbia Tower Club, I brushed off my projected disappointment and put myself back into character and prepared to enjoy the evening.

I only knew Kelly on a cursory level when she joined the group last January. Though we were distant colleagues in a past life, she was still a virtual stranger. I was a little perplexed as to why she wanted to join the group, even after our interview. She always seemed so confident and articulate. She’s wicked smart – a Columbia grad – and she projects a rare of combination of critical thinking, compassion and curiousity. Her career is a smattering of interesting and eclectic career paths, but she was still searching: social work, martial arts, working with youth, coaching, and for the last few years she’s worked in a project and support capacity. She is underutilized and frustrated, but even after our initial meeting – I wonder if she’ll help others more than we’ll help her.

But, looks can be deceiving. Kelly proved to be a complex person. Though all the raw ingredients are present – there’s a shadow in Kelly that keeps her small and blocks her ability to hear her soul. Her mind is inhabited by unproductive strategies that have become her constant companions and, it’s as if they self-sabotage her ability to fully embrace and leverage all that is good in her. In our meetings, she’d open up, let us in briefly and then, surrender to the comfortable. Then, we wouldn’t hear from Kelly for a while, even when she physically showed up for our meetings. That's why I knew she wasn't coming to our celebration.

The party was in full force when we finally connected on the phone. She was still home, lipstick on, but she conveyed she had little to say about next year, let along five years from now. She didn't have a dream. I acquiesce. I’ve come to love her, so I wade in disappointment only momentarily before I assure her it’s okay.

When we meet today, she assures me she's in a good spot, her progress is slow, but there are real moments of realization. And, I understand change takes time when we have a lifetime of emotions, behaviors and habits that get in our way. Especially, if we believe they are holding us captive and we are powerless. After all, I've learned we are what we think.

For whatever reason, Kelly wasn’t able to create the clearing she needed so she could design a career that is an extension of who she is at her best, because she's still figuring that out. I suspect happiness sometimes seeps in slowly…and it needs more assistance than a well-intentioned novice. And, as she takes the step to get some outside assistance I know...her soul is waiting patiently...until she's ready to hear the whispers.

The Coming Out Party

Last night the women of In Search of Soul Food came out to the world – and it happened on the 75th floor of the Columbia Tower Club. The date was October 7th, 2014, as we fast-forwarded to our first career empowerment reunion. The power and authenticity in the room was palpable. While the Seattle landscape glowed in the sunset, we mingled over champagne and hugs as the stories started to fly.

Here’s the headline: my whole life was changed. As you can imagine, capturing this will make a lengthy blog entry, so sit back and relax.

Tales of finding deep career passion and seeing it spill into other areas of her life was Laura’s entry point into the conversation. We shared her excitement about the launch of the handbag company and stepping into her dream of organizing the masses. We mused over her families’ move to San Francisco and taking to the water to fulfill a desire to sail around the world with her husband. And, you can feel the presence of a woman who believes in herself as she expresses the gratitude from stepping into happiness and being a solid role model for her son.

Family is theme for Ericka, as well. Dressed in attire from Italy, she shares a heartfelt tale of impacting her family’s life in wonderful ways through the prosperity generated from her fitness business that focuses on body and soul: early retirement for her mom, awakening her children to environmental issues through awe-inspiring travel, and the blessing of working in partnership with her beloved husband…all on the pathway to notoriety.

Vicki shows up looking radiant and is also getting folks healthy. She’s using her first-hand knowledge and the compassion generated from her own journey of taking back her life. Through our work, she came to understand she could change her physiology by changing her thoughts - a powerful message. Today, she educates and guides others to heal themselves through the integration of healthy nutrition, exercise and self-talk. She exudes her motto - you are what you eat - and touches peoples’ lives through coaching, consulting with organizations and works with youth on proactive interventions.

Meg also unveils the woman she’s become. She tells us of her life of gratitude, stepping into her potential, and the realization she was looking for happiness, when it was right in front of her. She’s traveled Europe and Asia - which explains the delightful shoes from Paris – has married and is the proud mother of a young child. On the career front, she returned to real estate part-time with a renewed sense of vigor, while ensuring she’s left enough time to pursue her passion of entertaining. It appears the right ingredients were there all along, she just needed to shift the way she saw the world.

Amy flaunts the fact that she’s forty with a sexy black number that also declares she’s loving life in a whole new way. Amy warms us with stories of her children’s activities and adventures, and you realize without question that family comes first. She's reinvigorated her career and started an executive search firm from her home in Bainbridge, but balance is still a guiding force. Her firm focuses on the non-profit space. They recruit the most talented thought-leaders for this growing segment and is proud to contribute to the task of building capacity in this all-important sector. And...we swoon when she tells us rowing is back in her life.

Brittany shows up in full force, as well. She’s embraced her uniqueness and has found a way to balance a more traditional career path with her entrepreneurial flair, while still making room for her dreams. The group was grateful to hear she’s back in the studio and focusing on her artwork; painting for peace is contributing to the important conversation around how to bring together prayer, meditation and painting for healing purposes. While her dreams have unfolded, she’s traveled to India, stepped into the teacher role that comes so naturally and has watched her daughter grow into a wonderful young woman who’s off to college next year to follow her own dreams.

Kathryn joins us from a life on the road where she also changes people’s lives. She's a worldwide emissary for Mindbloom (a personal development on-line site that has redefined the how people track and realize their dreams), she runs the Dahlia Mama Retreat Centers, and her successful book, Life in Boxes, is on bookshelves everywhere. Through the lens of her own experiences, she is helping people to realize who they really are by peeling back the layers and awakening them to the spirit that resides in each of us.

Jennifer represents East meets West and her own spiritual awakening in her spectacular Indian inspired attire. And, the Universe has responded in spectacular ways. First, she is an advocate for living in the present, honoring the balance between work and family, and serving others. Her life's work unfolded five years ago and today she runs a company with a partner that breaks down global boundaries by introducing families to humanitarian, life-changing travel outside the US. Their purpose is to raise the awareness and address the issue of global poverty. Her two children are her constant travel companions, providing Jennifer and her husband with the opportunity to enrich their children’s education in priceless ways.

In my first career empowerment group five years ago, I also confirmed my life’s work. I’m here to guide individuals to step into their full potential and create a career that is an extension of who we are when we’re at our best. I am a successful author, speaker and career coach, but more important, In Search of Soul Food created a movement of people who took their career fulfillment into their own hands. Self-organized groups have popped up in organizations and communities across the globe. The Positive Change Network has grown to include licensed career coaches, a renewal center where people come to find their authentic self, a radio show, and we’ll soon be on TV. We’re teaching people how to love work again – one person at a time.

The New Arrival

An unfortunate illness and surgery had invited her to take care of herself, so I hadn’t seen her for almost two months when we met yesterday. I am delighted to tell you the person emerging was awe-inspiring and vastly different from the woman I met a year ago.

Sadly, she was the only one who made the cut from Craig’s list. And, if you’ve read the earliest blogs, she’s the person that came equipped with a can of mace and her phone predialed to 911. And, though my affection for Meg has only deepened with time – I couldn’t help but love Meg the first time I met her in that coffee shop. You know instantly, she’s the real deal – no façade, an honest smile, and with a rare combination of drive and guts you want to know more about. Her intellect is obvious, yet skepticism is a frequent companion that shows up in her playfulness and sense of humor.

After a successful career in real estate, she decided to return to her earlier roots on the operational side of the business when she moved to Seattle. Two dismal attempts at employment in this new city led Meg to answer my blind classified ad, but I think it’s fair to say she still wasn’t sure why she signed up for this year-long experiment when she arrived at my house for the first time. Like me, the group took to Meg right away. We couldn’t help ourselves; she’s the kind of friend you want at any girl’s night out, yet I suspect she’s equally welcome to hang out with the guys, as well.

And, Meg is so comfortable in her own skin that speaking up came naturally when the ideas, exercises or instruction seemed counter intuitive to her rational convictions. This was most prevalent in the early months; the idea of finding a reflective practice, getting more self- aware, keeping a gratitude journal or searching for the good in everyone seemed a little too Pollyanna for Meg. And, she told us so – in her own words, of course. And, this kept Meg a little stalled, but never deterred.

Yet, it's been lovely to witness the subtle shifts in perspective and hear what she believes in today – starting with herself. When she arrives this time she looks healthy, vibrant, exudes self-assurance, talks of the introspection and important realizations, and confesses she’s learned to take stock in what she’s grateful for; it's changing the way she looks at life. She even confesses she has a new gratitude journal. Meg, like most of us, is realizing that if we change our view of the world – we can find the hidden opportunities for happiness in our careers.

Now Meg has a clearing. So, it's time for her to take another look at the inventory of what she does when she's at her best and what's most important in life. It's finally time for her to bring the puzzle pieces together so she can see the picture of what's next.

And, I can’t wait to see who shows up on October 7th at the Coming Out Party.

Rosie the Riveter

If I’m honest – it took a good discussion to finally agree she should be in this group, as I’ve known Lauri for years. I wanted a group of strangers. Plus, I had a similar experiment years ago and Laurie, like some others, left inspired but not much more. But, I care for Lauri and I wanted her to have the opportunity to align her career with her full potential. So, I caved and reluctantly brought my third friend into the group.

Lauri is a resilient, achievement-oriented and strong woman. She reminds me of Rosie the Riveter. And, that’s a compliment – believe me. She fell into circumstances and started in the family business which started a disastrous cycle of career heartache, when her earliest and heartfelt vocational fantasies were mostly filled with dreams of being a devoted wife and mother. Tonight, I am touched when Lauri discloses how this process has helped her to be a better mother. I know this is true - and I am moved by her emotion and gratitude.

I am also deeply grateful for what I’ve learned from Lauri, and others, about the complexity of the human psyche on the path to finding more happiness. This was the missing piece five years ago. Finding your ideal career is not as easy as taking an inventory of what you do well and what’s most important in life; it’s about preparing yourself to think, behave and show up in alignment with your full potential. This takes time, introspection, some reprogramming, and a commitment to trying new strategies and taking small steps every day. But all too often, we’re moving too fast and looking for quick solutions when it comes to our careers. Therefore, we end up with a career path of reoccurring themes, familiar disappointments, and yes, more of the same. Even switching jobs can only change the scenery.

Maybe this is where my disappointment stems from tonight. Lauri has so many talents, interests and passions that are still waiting to be discovered, but I don’t think we’ve been able to help her think differently. I know personal change takes time, but I expected more the second time around. I expected her to go deeper, to reach further, and to finally see her full potential and do something about it. I can only hope we’ve provided her with a set of tools, some stories of inspiration and a different way to think about happiness, and when she is ready to step into her greatness – we’ll be here waiting. Until then, let me tell you about her magnificence.

Anything a handy man can do, Lauri can do it better – I’m sure. She built the house she lives in, can change a water heater without instructions, joyously stains her deck every year better than most contractors, has a mechanical aptitude second to none, is wicked with a weed eater, and these are the things that give her joy in her spare time. I suspect it comes from her passion to remind herself that a woman can do anything a man can do. Hence, the Rosie comparison.

She’s practical, reliable , persistent, and thinks we're just too slow because she can plow through work with ease, which explains why she prefers to work on her own. She can manage the most complex project by boiling it down into practical step-by-step solutions and is not willing to sacrifice quality. She enjoys things more than people, except when it comes to her family and the really important people in her life. In that category, she is a dear friend, devoted daughter, partner and sister (to those living and passed) and cares deeply for others, which is often displayed with gifts of self-sacrifice.

It’s an honor to know her...and I celebrate her successes. And, I know her journey continues.

Burning Man

The thought for this event was spurred a few weeks ago when I had dinner with a friend who was struggling to move beyond her past. Though things were picking up in life, she talked about being saddened by missed opportunities. She wanted her impending 40th birthday to symbolize a new lease on life. At the same time, we had a few in the group who’d hit a familiar plateau. Wanting more from life, but stuck in the emotions, patterns, beliefs, excuses and reasons generated by their past. I needed to help them let go...and the idea of fire crossed my mind.

I don’t know if you’ve heard of burning man, but it’s on my bucket list. For years now people have gathered in a desert outside of Reno and built a temporary community that symbolizes renewal and celebrates self-reliance. The crescendo of the event is the burning of a large wooden figure as a way of symbolizing letting go; that’s my version anyway.

Yup, we needed our own version of burning man. This was by far the strangest idea I’ve had to date, but as you know, I’m blindly following hunches these days.

When I thought about the permanence of letting things go up in smoke, I was not suggesting people forget their past. But instead, honor it, extract the lessons, keep what works, and ditch the rest. In other words, stop reliving the aspects of one’s story that keep you small; I’m not good enough or smart enough, money doesn’t come easy, I’m not ready yet, I need to be perfect so people won’t see my faults, what other people think is important, I rely on others to save me because I don’t think I can do it on my own, or whatever else you tell yourself when you start to dream about your future.

And, that’s what this weekend was all about – making room for our dreams. It was a small group, but the visions of success were big. Yet, we were honest about the familiar themes that could block our paths, and so, we told our stories one last time. Then, we painted a picture of our future in the horizon, shared a meal, popped open a bottle of Vueve, and burned our stories in a roaring fire when the sun finally surrendered to the Puget Sound.

I'll tell you about the dragonfly and whale later.......

The Pre-coming Out Party

On October 7th, we will unveil ourselves five years from now in our "coming out party" at the Columbia Tower Club.

The women who show up that night will toast and boast about our careers, and the lives we have created for ourselves. We will be required to stay in character for the entire evening. And, no topic will be off limits. For the first time, we will "act as if" our visions have come to life now that many of us have a clear sense of where we are headed when it comes to our careers.

I suspect there will be stories of trips to India, a journey around the United States, a labyrinth, changing people's lives, dragonflies, a book, happy marriages, leaving the comfort and safety of a stable job, taking on the issue of obesity, helping others to live healthy lives, following the Buddhist path, hanging out their own shingle, honoring a place for art, being a loving mother, impacting the issue of education, and tales of well adjusted children.

For the last nine months, we've played in a life-sized petri dish; we've meditated, pretended the recession didn’t exist, let go of limiting beliefs, learned to be peer coaches, unearthed our natural gifts and learned to put the important first. And, this coming weekend we will hold our own version of Burning Man. And, all these wonderful experiences have led us to a place where we can celebrate our coming out.

It seemed only apropos to use this time to transition to using our real names, for those who consented. So, this month's newsletter highlights Laura's progress to date in her pre-coming out party....though she can't join us this weekend, I know she was will be there in spirit.

Enjoy

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In Search of Soul Food

When I met her in Starbucks this time last year, I was struck by her quiet intelligence and the sincerity that rests in her smile. A mother of two small children, she’d recently made a conscious decision to take a break from her paid vocation and focus on what’s next. Like most, her career had been filled with success, but devoid of purpose. With that, she was clear about her intentions to join the group. It appeared she was ready to do some soul searching, so it made perfect sense the email subject line had caught her attention:

Will work for food. Soul Food.

I don’t know if I could’ve articulated why I felt these words were the right words to bring the perfect people together. Though, that’s exactly what they did. And somehow, in a naive and playful way - we both knew finding more meaningful work meant opening the window to the soul, even if we didn’t know how to talk about it over our lattes that day.

When we met today in another coffee shop across town, it became apparent how much she'd accomplished over the last nine months. She's shown up physically and emotionally and honored her intentions. Yes, it’s her intentions which have allowed her to gain the clarity she’s experiencing at this very moment. She wanted to hear her own authentic voice, which we both now know…resides in one’s soul...and can only be found by creating a clearing and listening in earnest. So, she meditated, serendipitously found a spiritual teacher, started a gratitude practice, learned to trust her intuition and look for signs, and found stillness in the practice of yoga.

And today - what started as an interest in the issue of hunger and poverty, has turned into a new business venture that will create life-changing travel opportunities for families who want to make a difference outside our borders.

Who knew the new title of the book – In Search of Soul Food – would have such a profound significance to her life’s work, and mine.

The Tides have Turned

October and November of last year I was frantically interviewing those interested in this lovely experiment. Though the meetings happened all across Seattle - walking around Green Lake, sitting in strange coffee shops, enjoying a quick dinner - the questions were consistent from each finalist.

~ Why a year?
~ How will we spend our time?
~ What can I expect at the end of the process?
~ And, will you be using real names when you write the book?

I always knew anonymity would be a touchy subject. So, I'd answer the question based on what I thought they'd want to hear, "No, I won't be using your name unless it is agreeable to you at the time of publication." And, I meant it. Let's be clear - no one was interested in putting their name in the hands of a stranger, regardless of how cool this project sounded.

As I finalize the book proposal, it's time to take an inventory of who wants to use a pseudonym. The tides have turned and it appears this is no longer a concern for most. Not only do they want me to use their first name, most are asking I share their last name, too. My husband finds this really curious. Yet, it appears the pride of our accomplishments and wanting to share their honest lessons has created a tipping point.

There's still one or two who are reluctant, including my husband, Peter. He wants to go by the name Frank. Sorry, darling - you don't get to hide behind a facade. It would be too confusing when we’re on Oprah.

Breakfast and a Bloody Mary

My husband and I arrive in Boston too early to check-in to our hotel room, so breakfast seems like a more appropriate option than sleeping on the couch in the lobby. Though it’s barely 8:00 am, we are warmly greeted by our waitress who displays more energy than us on a good day. Slightly hunched and little hard of hearing, you can’t help but feel enamored by the obvious passion she has for her work. “She started at this hotel when it first opened 42 years ago, and she was 43 at the time”, she proudly tells the table next to ours. When she offers to bag-up an orange or apple to go, you know this is more than a job for this 85 year old woman. It gets her up in the morning – literally and figuratively.

After a long nap, it’s off to dinner before watching a late season baseball game. “I would like a Bloody Mary. Are they spicy here?” I asked the waitress. With an interesting aloofness she tells me she doesn’t know. The people who own the restaurant don’t allow the employees to try the drinks, just the food. Is it just me – or was that a strange answer? “Okay…would there be anyone who would know”, I wondered out loud. She says she’ll ask the bartender….. I couldn’t help but think about the stark differences in these two experiences. So much so, I want to know more about her story – is today a bad day or does she always bring this level of indifference when she clocks-in.

We chat on and off throughout dinner and she warms up. The wife of a college football coach, she’s spent the last ten years moving around the east coast following his career. With each move she finds whatever job allows her to spend her days with her daughter. Yet, it's not until she shares her husband’s dream of being a head coach one day that she lights up for the first time. We pay for dinner without fanfare or an offer to box-up desert for our travels. I leave knowing this is not a job she enjoys. She's given in to circumstances.

We’re in the 8th inning. Boston is up. It’s tied 8-8 and the bases are loaded with 2 outs. The crowd roars. As they contemplate a win, I'm wondering if she knows it doesn't have to be this way. I want to ask her, "What's your dream?"

Creating a Clearing

We went around the room and as we always do, shared our learning and insights since our last meeting. We’d all embarked on the month of magical thinking, and the amazing stories started to fly. The signs that are leading one person to important work in India, another to solve the problem of obesity, a dear friend who has found her compassion through her own journey and will help others to live more healthy lives, and the artist who will one day share her gifts to help others to heal.

Then there’s the person who’s been shepherding others to success for years. She’s writing a book, “My Life in Boxes.” It’s about resiliency and the lessons she’s learned in the thirty-three moves she endured over her lifetime. She finds herself at a major crossroads with the prospect of big life changes on the horizon. She confirmed she’s doing what she supposed to be doing, for now. Yet again, after a major water leak and in the midst of a large construction project, she finds herself in boxes once more. When the large construction equipment and fans finally leave the house, she relishes in the silence. What does this all mean?

Yet, it’s the question from the group that consumes my thoughts this morning. Why is it that so many of us are experiencing an awakening and realizing this level of clarity at this very moment? I can’t help but think about the uncanny metaphor in her unfortunate circumstances to provide some insight. In order to find what we are being called to do, we must create a clearing. Though her house is in disarray, she has taken down the interior walls so she can see all the way to her authentic self and she’s packed her burdensome emotions and beliefs in boxes. She’s found herself in the stillness. We have, like her, removed the self-imposed obstacles that block the subtle whispers from our souls.

This time, when we move - we'll know where we are headed.

French Fries and Lies

The silence I felt two weeks ago on our call was a signal. I'd just finished sharing all the magical things that have been happening this month, and there it was....dead silence. I took no offence. I knew it wasn't jealously or envy, but I thought I might have witnessed a stirring. Or, there's also the possibility my phone was cutting out. No, I definitely suspected a shift.

She's my peer coach and a fellow group member, but she's also a dear friend for years now. We were business partners at one point. But after a year working together, it became obvious we were living my dream, not hers. The final clue - I couldn't get her to make any financial investments. She would give her time, but not her money. Its hard to build a business without offering up some $$. The gig at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation momentarily put my dream on hold, so the business partnership parted as their work consumed my time. But, she continued her journey to find work that offered her meaning.

She is a wonderful wife and devoted mother who took herself off the corporate track when the kids were born. Since then, she's been a successful personal trainer. I've always known she was destined for greatness, but alas, she needed to catch up. We've had numerous breakthroughs over the last few months, and it was obvious it was the self-imposed beliefs and lies she told herself that kept her from living her destiny.

And, yesterday I was screaming with joy when I heard she'd finally committed to something. The evidence was clear - she had spent some money. $207 for a website and blog - check her out - French Fries and Lies. Through her work and words, we'll look into the lies we tell ourselves to stay fat and (un)happy. Who knows where it will lead, but it will take her exactly where she needs to go.

Look out Oprah....here she comes!

Lady Bugs

Did you know if you enter "symbolism of lady bugs" into a Google search, you get 28,600 results? Why am I interested, you might ask?

On a picnic lunch with one of my group members a ladybug landed on my shirt. That was at 12:00 pm. It's almost 4 hours later, and the cute thing is still hanging on. And, this is after a walk around Green Lake, a ride home on I-5 with the top down, and after numerous attempts to move it on its way. Anyway, here is what I found in my first click:

Ladybugs teaches us how to restore our faith and trust in great spirit. It initiates change where it is needed the most. When a ladybug appears it is asking us to get out of our own way and allow great spirit to enter.

Okay, does anyone find this freakish? Not the fact that I haven't been more aggressive with its reentry into the wild - okay I know it's kinda weird - but it is a direct answer to my question for the month.

Come on in now that I've come closer...

Whoosh, thump...thump

Someone told me today they were ready to play. I awoke to three emails that described her steadfast desire to get out of her own way – once and for all. She’s ready to find out what stops her from taking action. Finding more happiness.

Do you remember watching children play the jump rope game Double Dutch when you were little? The intricacy of the two ropes moving through the air in opposite directions at warp speed as you sway back and forth, back and forth…to plot the perfect moment to enter the swirling chaos. The quick rush of the air in your face as the rope circles. It’s as if it tells you it’s not safe to go in just yet, while the pounding of the rope’s rhythm woos you in further….whoosh, thump..thump….whoosh, thump…thump. Then at some point – you know the exact right moment to take the leap.

Like standing on the outside of the Double Dutch ropes, I been waiting for the signal it’s time to jump in and help. At the start of this journey I was over-the-top excited by the prospect of seeing her create a career that was at the same magnitude as her magnificence. But, alas – my predictions of who, how and when people will wake up to their full potential has debunked my common sense. In some ways I’ve been a little too frustrated as I’ve watched her struggle. So smart, funny, insightful, creative, but stopped by fear pretending to be something more protective. It seems she is ready to untangle herself and this is the perfect moment…whoosh, thump…..jump.

Deepak or Patrick Lencioni?

In exchange for the promise of good food and wine, a group of successful people volunteered to show up quarterly to ask me questions, test assumptions on my business strategy and let’s be honest, keep me on track. The idea of having a business advisory group was sparked a few months ago when my husband lovingly told me I have the propensity to start things I don’t finish. He meant this, of course, in the nicest way.

In addition to the amazing food I whipped up in freakish speed, the meeting was spectacular. You see, I’ve had this big question whether I take the personal development route or the more corporate route with employee engagement. In other words, should I be like Deepak or Patrick Lencioni? (Just the fact I only use Deepak’s first name should be a clue to my bias; I just assume you know who he is.) This has been causing me to be a little schizophrenic and uncommitted, to put it mildly.

As I suspected, they advise me to write the book and they will come. Both will come...seekers and employers alike. Do what I do naturally, get the damn book written, and let’s start a movement. There’s already some early interest in the book, so it’s time to put my head down. And, it appears I will be my own person, but more like a Steve Covey for careers, of course. I can live with that….

By the way, ask me for my Thai basil hamburger slider recipe. Yum!

The Burlesque Dancer

When my soon-to-be editor backed out after my weekend of writing in the woods, panic wasn’t an immediate thought. “Everything happens for a reason”, is now my mantra. As I parked the car on the hill and walked back to the house, my mind wondered from my normal fantasies of an attached two-car garage to finding a new editor. After all I wasn’t prepared to go in naked without a “professional” looking at my book proposal. As I looked down at my blackberry, an email from my friend popped into my inbox at that exact moment.

She’d just thrown a bachelorette party with burlesque lessons and yes, tassels, and was sharing the highlights. I can tell you I almost wet my pants laughing as I scanned her email. In the middle of my hysterics it dawned on me she would know exactly the right person to help me out of this predicament. She’d just finished her own book. Since I’m not saying “no” to much these days, I immediately speed dialed her number and followed my hunch.

After sharing in the priceless images of women dancing awkwardly while the teacher yells from the back of the room, “juicy bounce” - my entrepreneurial friend, turned tassel dancer, said she knew the right person. I’ll sleep well tonight knowing I have one option. She was a fellow dancer, so who knows if there’ll be stripper heals involved. I’m willing to see where this goes. If nothing else, this confirms the universe has a great sense of humor.

Burning Man

Well, it’s off to the cabin for a long weekend. No internet, cell service, just me and my writing…and the rest of the family, of course.

As I think about the prospect of writing in the woods, I start to realize this could qualify me as a real writer. I wonder if I should pack only black, buy a clip-on necklace for my reading glasses and bring a Hemingway classic. Well, maybe a walk in the woods for inspiration will be enough. In all fairness, the proposal was written months ago, and now it’s just time to wrap in some of the texture that’s surfaced over the last six months before I hit “send” on my computer.

I find some comfort in knowing if I hit a wall, I can use my spare time to stake out the place for our burning man event later this month. Like many of my actions these days, the idea grew out of a verbal stream of consciousness when I had dinner with a girlfriend. In the midst of hearing her familar story and intrepedation of waking up forty in a few weeks, she was lamenting on how to spend the big 40.

Her: A cabin the woods….her sadness over all the missed opportunities…and, the tranquility of the water. ME: Let go of the past…could she symbolically create a clearing….did she want company…yup, burning man. It seemed like the only right option at the time. She's since decided to bag the idea, but only after a few of the group enthusistically signed up. Too late to turn back now.

I suppose I should learn how to build a fire while I’m there, as well. Do real writers do that, too?

Light my Fire

I went to bed on Sunday night knowing two things were true: the sun would come up tomorrow and I was entering a week filled with possibilities. Ah, if I only knew…

I’ve been toying with an idea of finding an editor to help with the book proposal. Okay, let’s do that again and be a bit more honest. I’ve decided I need an editor if I was going to be comfortable sharing my work with perfect strangers. When the morning sun filters through my window on Monday morning, I decide to write a draft of the pitch letter to give the editor so he can show me his stuff. Like a pre-employment test, ya know?

In about an hour, I write the letter. Then, I decide it’s actually okay. On a whim, I decide to send the letter out. I spend the better part of my day researching agents and publishers and send out fifteen unsolicited letters via email. What the heck, right? It typically takes a few months to hear from these folks. They are inundated with unsolicited queries and if nothing else, I suspect it will light my fire to put the finishing touches on the book proposal. I know I am ready to write this book, damn it.

My head is still spinning. I heard from four people in the first 48 hours. An agent and a publisher who want to take a look. One large publishing house that asked a lot of good questions, but decided it wasn’t exactly right. (Though my gut tells me they’ll still circle back.) And, one who wants to know more, but I decide I need to catch my breath before I respond early next week.

Consider me fired up universe….

Note to Self

When I woke up this morning, I recall my dream with such a vividness. I am thanking my old boss for encouraging me to continue my education. It's only in my waking state that I realize his words have been with me for years now. I make the decision to send him an email, even though I haven’t talked to him for fifteen years. Like an obsessed old girlfriend, I crawl the internet to find out where he’s working and send off a quick note. Nothing too fancy, just a simple “thank you”. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned the dream…he’s probably sharing it with his wife right now asking if he should respond or pretend it landed in the spam folder.

I realize I neglected to share this with my peer coach in our call today. No, instead we were exploring all her progress, even in the midst of some challenges on the extended family front. She is being strong, courageous, and is focusing on what she needs to learn from this experience. I admire her. I need to ensure to tell her this now, and not wait a decade. Note to self.

Pixie Dust

She wore a standard white hospital coat and called my name. As I neared the door, it was only my intuition that caused me to follow. She was two steps ahead and we walked in silence down the hallway and entered the examining room. I was expecting to be instructed to wait for the practitioner, but no. She awkwardly turned and finally introduced herself, “Hello, my name is Sally your nutritionist and your appointment is with me today.” I can assure you...many more awkward moments followed.

Unfortunately, the appointment did not contain much pixie dust. I received the benign advice to eat right and exercise, received another handout with each question...but there wasn't much magic. Ugh. But, it wasn’t just the outcome that left me feeling flat. There was no spadazzle, excitement or even curiosity about who I was or what brought me there today. I knew my family had a history of high cholesterol, but that didn’t seem to matter as she explained I was at the ideal weight for my height within the first five minutes. "Hello, are you even picking up on the fact that I’m in the room, have some feelings or desires I’d like to share?”

Coincidentally, I shared with experience with someone from the group who is exploring her interest in the area of nutrition. She’s been on a quest to get healthy and in the process, has lost quite a bit of weight. (She looks fabulous, by the way!) I couldn’t help but think how different the scenario would have played out with her. Besides having a great presence and sense of humor akin to David Sedaris, she would care...a lot. She’d bring empathy, compassion and passion to this work. And, I'm sure that's exactly what she meant when she said, "I'd want to know how fat they used to be before I'd work with them!"

Regardless of where she lands, there’ll be plenty of pixie dust. So much so, she should probably wear a tutu and carry a wand.

Magical Thinking

Why didn’t we do this exercise earlier?

It’s only been a week and I could write a list as long as my left leg of all the coincidences, synchronicities, and answers I’ve received regarding my business direction and what part, if any, spirituality would play in my work. And, there are a few in the group who are also on a roll. So much so, I have now officially dubbed this our month of magical thinking.

This is a familiar place for me – I’ve been here before. It reminds me of a time a few years ago when I was committed to my practice of mediation, was thinking more right-brained, and loving how everything was just falling into place. I expected it. This period lasted about two years, and it’s when the thoughts of this book first came to mind.

Actually, it started before that with a poignant moment when I was very young. During a chance meeting a physic declared a book would one day change my life. Now, whether you believe in the clairvoyant is not the point. What is important was the thirst for books I developed over the years based on this speculation. I read an endless array of books on every subject matter imaginable. As I’d open to the first page I was always met by an old friend who’d cry out in childlike wonderment, “Is this the one?”

Then one Saturday evening about four years ago I sat down with self-indulgent plan to settle into another good book when those familiar words popped into my head. But, this time the response shocked me. Instead of that familiar questioning voice, I heard myself saying something foreign to my ears. With steadfast conviction I proclaimed, “No, silly - you’re not going to read a book. You’re going to write a book!” To this day, I’m still not sure if I said this out loud. Even though I had no idea how to write a book or where the inspiration would come from, I knew this was true.

This was the same voice I heard yesterday when I asked the divine intelligence to show itself again. This time, it said, “come closer.”

Synchronicity at Work

Have you ever decided to buy a certain type of car and then…you see them everywhere you go...…and, in exactly the same color you swooned over when you saw yourself behind the wheel. Or, have you ever asked yourself a question – like should I go to Belize or the Caribbean on vacation…only to receive emails highlighting the right destination, overheard conversations of strangers as they reminisce about Belize or you receive an invitation to join friends in their families’ timeshare in St. Thomas? Have you ever thought about an old friend or wondered…whatever happened to this person...only to have them call you the next day?
Coincidence? I say not.

This is our experiment this month in context to what we are being called to do in our work. Already the sparks are flying. Though our group has barely adjourned 48 hours ago, the signs are coming from the conversations and questions we released into the world. Let me give you a few examples.

One member of our group talked about being called to help educate children about the issue of poverty in developing countries. It was a calling she received over a year ago when she stumbled on a coffee sleeve that held a quote by Jeffrey Sachs that says (I’m paraphrasing) we are the first generation that has the ability to end poverty in our lifetime. As you can imagine, this is a big calling and could dwarf even the mightiest. In fact, she confessed that the task seemed daunting and wondered out loud what her contribution could be to this effort. The reframe from the group was think about what you can do in the moment - in this present moment to take small steps.

The next morning we both received the same quote from Marian Wright Edelman (b. 1939); activist, president and founder Children's Defense Fund in our email. It said, “We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.” When I sent it to her, she said she was already laughing at the irony and was preparing to send it to the group.

But, if you’re still skeptical…let me give you another example. One of our members declared she was going to make a significant career change about two months ago. She wanted to use her creativity and organizational prowess in unique ways. With tons of enthusiasm she created a company that offers organizational services and coaching. However, she wondered out loud if this was really what she was supposed to be doing. Though we don’t yet know the answer, the glowing recommendation on her services from her realtor to her entire network just 24 hours after our meeting was some sort of clue.

I’ve had my clues, as well – an introduction to someone who does both spiritual work and consults with the UN, a foreword in a book I’m reading highlights the same person, and a great conversation with a group member on Tuesday about whether the business world is ready for a conversation on consciousness and awareness in the workforce. That wouldn’t be too surprising, but she missed the session last night. She had no idea of my question nor of my interest in forging new ground. This was her question – not mine. Hmm….

I’m excited about the prospect of good conversations, some introspection, signals from those conspiring on my behalf, and following the clues to what shape my work takes beyond the book. I have a business plan due on the 14th of August, so is it fair to ask the Universe to work FAST?

Symbols as Questions

Well, when things don’t work out like you plan – you improvise and pretend you expected it to go that way. That’s what tonight’s session was all about. In some ways, it was the best session we’ve had to date – so flying by the seat of your pants seems to work.

The group did not have a chapter to read before this session due to my writer’s block. As I explained to the group, the topic of purpose seemed to stop me dead in my tracks. Over the month, my thoughts seem to be settling on a brief conversation we had last month when we broached the subject of purpose as a precursor. Over the last month, I’ve concluded that humanity shares a similar purpose – to love, to be loved, and to be authentic to who we are – in a balanced and ecological way. Meaning, it’s good for you, others, the planet…you get the point.

As one person said last month, it is no different than the purpose of a tree. It can’t be anything but a tree… that’s what it is. The tree is a tree, until; the tree meets the needs of others and manifests itself to serve the needs of others. The tree might create shade for a tired traveler, offer a child a place to climb, or become paper. In the same way, our role is to align ourselves with our authentic self, hear our own voice and listen for the needs of humanity. In other words, how can we honor our purpose by paying attention to what we are being called to do – at this very moment?

Tonight we used metaphor to check-in on our progress. Each person was instructed to bring an icon or item that represented their progress and a recurring question that keeps greeting them as we meander through this purposeful journey. The intention of the exercise was to raise the questions so the Universe could support us by giving us answers to our inquiry…it’s just hunch.

A couple of things exude poignancy this evening. The lives of these women have changed and evolved in such delightful ways over the last eight months…in amazing ways…from the person who couldn’t create a clearing in her mind to see her love of spirit, art and creating community coming together, and watching her move into a diligent, yet patient, search for what’s now possible in her mind. Or, the woman who is moving into her birthright to live the life of her choosing by making conscious choices to create and sustain a healthy lifestyle that honors the beautiful person she is – one day at a time; to see her move away from inner conflict and into this place of power and peace. It’s been extraordinary to watch. Or, the person who is being called to – to use her own words, “to thine own self be true”; and seeing her look for ways to put herself first and bring her creative talents and ability to organize to the marketplace. Yet, some realize the need to change jobs as subsided as they focus on rediscovering themselves, taking time to heal, or honor family first.

I bring a book as my icon, Creating an Engaged Church. I have this book in my collection but have no recollection of buying it, yet it sits behind a glass wall in a dresser in my bathroom. I use this to represent my question of spirituality and what part this will play in my work. What I am really being called to do? What is the dissonance I feel telling me and what is stopping me from taking focused action in building my business?

Now that we have our questions, we will look for our own moments of dissonance or congruence, excitement or fear, synchronicity, coincidence, and listen to what our bodies, dreams, and thoughts are trying to tell us about our question.

Over the next 30 days we will be a witness to our own lives and look for answers to what we are being called to do....stay tuned….

The Wizard Within

Still, no writing inspiration..Ugh.

However, I’ve had enough to keep me busy this week. A continuation of the virus put me in the emergency room on Saturday when I decided breathing was a necessary prerequisite to making it though the week. Also, I had two important presentations this week. Both came with some demanding prep time and gathering my thoughts outside of my Robitussin fog.

The presentations couldn’t be more different, yet the same. In the first presentation, I addressed a group of successful CEO’s and discussed the topic of employee engagement. My intention was to help them understand that free soda, snazzy benefits and even a good manager is not enough to get folks jazzed about work. That instead, it’s an inside job on the part of the employee. The call on that day – help employers to understand their role is to help employees to find their own wizard within.

The second group was a group of unemployed individuals brought together by the Jewish Business Association in Seattle. Sixteen people showed up at this event, as well. Again, the topic – how to get what you want and wake up to our own excellence. In some ways, this should have been a tough crowd – but I felt confident, my message flowed, and I felt deeply inspired to lead this group in a conversation that could change their current reality.

Though the results were equally successful, I can’t wonder why my emotions were so different about the two distinct target audiences. Before addressing the CEO group, I was ravaged with feelings of anxiousness and just plain exhausted from playing the movie of the presentation in my head. I finally just reasoned that my intentions were similar for both – to have them thinking differently about how to get what we all want – happy folks in the workplace. Folks who love life, and work.

Here’s what I learned about my passion – my calling, my purpose…I want to work with people who are interested in helping themselves. I want to be one-person away from the person who needs the messages, the strategies…the tools to change their life. I can certainly spend my time convincing CEO that they can awaken their workforce – but I question if the business world is ready for a conversation about creating a conscious workforce?

What does this tell me about myself or what I am called to do? Is it time to wake up my wizard within…

Vision for the Future

Today, I scheduled an unscheduled session for the group. Creating vision boards. We have just wrapped up creating vision statements for each area of our life and noting the things we want to realize for ourselves.

Now, when I think about vision boards it just makes me smile. When I left the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, a group of my colleagues created a vision board for me as a final act of appreciation. These are professional women who don’t necessary believe in the process of visualization, so it was this act of unselfishness that touched me so much. The funny thing was that they called it an “art project”, as almost an avoidance of what the process really symbolizes. It just makes me snicker to envision this group of women with glue sticks, an empty canvas and cutting out inspiring quotes and pictures to make the collage that represented my contribution to our important work. The end result offers daily inspiration.

A vision board is nothing more than creating a visual representation of what we want in life. The whole premise is that when we commit to something and when we evoke emotion based on our beliefs that we can get what we want…it attracts those things to us. The law of the Universe is that like attracts like. Don’t laugh – its quantum physics. It’s really that simple.

Only four of us are able to make it today. As folks walked through their boards, it was fun to hear what they wanted for themselves and to see their excitement. Ironically, one person confesses that she told her husband that we were doing “a girl’s art project.” Though I know she will need to confess when she arrives home with two amazing pieces of artwork, it makes me think about how we can all get more authentic and comfortable in our journey. Are we willing to shed the perceptions of what other people think, and follow what we are called to do?

This is an ironic thought because I am stuck this month – big time - with my writing. I wonder if I am being authentic to my true calling. The chapter topic this month is purpose and I realize this feels too big right now to write about. Maybe it’s because I feel stuck. This is evident in my effort to finish my board today. I am feeling some dissonance in the direction my work is taking on the corporate side, and how this dovetails with my purpose. My calling. Since I am stuck, my writing is waiting for me to catch up. My vision board will need to wait until I can get clear on what I want, I guess.

Am I being authentic to what I am being called to do? How will I know?

Reframing Unflattering Beliefs

I find myself in a cloud this weekend. I’ve been really sick for the second time this summer, and I wonder what this is trying to bring my attention to…but, that’s not why you are reading this blog…so, I’ll move on.

I woke up today with some energy for the first time in a week. I opted to attend a monthly support group that gets my attention intermittently. The group is comprised of alum from the personal effectiveness seminar I attended a few years ago, which I highly recommend by the way. There was something telling me to get my ass out of bed, so against the better judgment of those who love me – I was off to gather with a group of almost perfect strangers with my benign cough in tow.

There were eight of us who showed up on this marvelous summer morning. As I walked through the door, I decide that am going to participate fully and push myself outside of my comfort zone. That alone is enough to regret my decision as I sit down in the circle of chairs. But I was called to attend this morning because there is something inside me that is resisting the progress I want for myself, so I see this morning as a vehicle to look for clues. And aha – our focus today is on beliefs – limiting beliefs. Those nagging beliefs that get in the way of living the life we deserve. A coincidence, you say? I think not.

UGH, at the announcement of the topic, I feel a wave of nausea roll me around. The feeling takes me to a visceral memory of being pulled under a wall of water as I innocently entered the ocean for the first time when I was a child. I was lost in the waves and wondering if I would ever find air again. For a split second, I contemplate leaving.

But I stay. We are asked to write down three limiting beliefs we have about ourselves. At first, I tell myself I am confident and don’t have any negative thoughts rolling around in my head any longer. Then I get real with myself and decide to be more vulnerable. It’s like I am undressing in front of these people, but then I realize – they are getting naked too. (Not literally, but figuratively – of course.) And, I write on one of my cards, “showing my emotions makes me vulnerable.”

A belief starts with a passing thought or an experience. But, it’s when we start making decisions to support this new truth that we make this belief true in every cell of our being. As I write my belief, a memory of me crying as a child comes into my mind. I couldn’t tell you how old I was, but I remember my mom telling me, “now, I know how to get you to take a nap in the middle of the day.” On that day, I remember telling myself I wouldn’t cry anymore. In fact, I’d spent many years holding back my emotions because I thought I needed to be strong. Or, maybe it was about control. Obviously, this was still plaguing me today even though I feel I’ve made good progress over the years.

We spend the rest of the day reframing our beliefs to create an inner dialog that is more productive. The first step was for someone to read my words to me – as if they were their words. When they came from someone else’s mouth, the statement seemed just silly. Of course that wasn’t true! Then we went around the room and we were offered a counter-point - or reframe – to our beliefs. Though I left with many, my favorite is “I am safe & I am loved; I risk being all of me all the time.”

Signing off – the strong and vulnerable me.

My Beliefs about New York

I find myself with a free afternoon in downtown New York and I am struck with a wave of concerns regarding a few members of the group. Where most are making awe-inspiring progress, there are some outliers that have captured my thoughts today.

One shows up, but isn’t fully engaged in the work. As a result, there is minimal progress and a cloud of personal disappointment that joins us in the room whenever she arrives. I want to help. Hold her hand. Shake her to wake up, but I know we all hold the key to our own progress. Another is struggling with a shadow. It has followed her for years. It has become her companion and nemesis. Though it wears the mask of a jester, it will sometime unveil itself when she’s all alone – keeping her from offering her true beauty and gifts to this world. It keeps her goodness looking small in her own eyes. Yet another is sidetracked by her ability to open up to different ways of thinking and being. The question – what stops them -- all of us, at different times – from listening to our hearts and changing our path?

It strikes me that New York, in some ways, is the perfect environment for today’s contemplation. No, really. My husband and I have talked about spending more time in New York to see if it’s a place we might want to hang out once we get closer to retirement. We love Seattle, but New York has been calling my husband’s name ever since he decided to take a free ride for graduate school and pass up attending NYU; his only regret in life, he says.

As I think about the group, my thoughts wonder to visions of living in New York. I keep asking myself if I can be authentic, contemplative and who I am in New York, or whether I would lose myself in all the chaos, excitement and noise. You have to admit, there are mountains of distractions in New York.

Then it hits me, it’s my beliefs about New York that are getting in my way – not New York. This seems so ironic because I just wrapped up reading The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton. Lipton is bringing new thought to science and helping the layman to understand why the placebo effect works to heal at the cellular level. In short, you walk away from the book understanding how our beliefs shape the way we respond and what we achieve when it comes to progress - but not just in healing, in life! Our unconscious mind creates the beautiful automatic pilot that replaces our stomach lining every 72 hours, allows us to drive home without much thought, and whispers in our ear who we are and the life we deserve. So, if I believe I will lose myself in New York, I will create experiences, outcomes and results to support this belief. Ah…what else do I believe?

I realize I need to help the group to surface what they believe and understand how this is impacted their choices and progress in our work – in life. I need to invite them to remove the mask of the nemesis who holds our unworthy beliefs and unveil that whole, perfect and full expression of goodness who wants to express itself in life, and through our work.

Until now, I have been frustrated with how to help…more. But alas, I feel so silly. Of course I know how to help. It starts by helping me first, by questioning what I hold as true. Then, working with those who are interested in unearthing what they believe and changing it at the cellular level. Easy enough….

Building a House

As we’ve come to understand, career fulfillment revolves around the choices we make based on the information at our disposal. But, choices wrapped around our self-interests only can leave us – over time – feeling hollow and unsteady.

Therefore, how we define and strive for success needs to be balanced against the backdrop of life’s circumstances and what you want from life in the big scheme of things. In fact, there is a deep connectedness in what we want from life and our careers that we often take for granted. So, this month we had numerous exercises to bring our priorities to the surface, but by far - the house exercise was the most powerful for the group.

As we are learning, our careers do not sit in isolation from the rest of our lives – so taking a whole-life perspective becomes even more critical in this chapter. So, we started by defining what a balanced and fulfilled life looks like - using the metaphor of building a house.

Like most building projects, we started by creating a blueprint of the foundation, which ultimately holds the structure for more happiness and success in life. This meant plotting out what rooms belong in their house; family, relationships, career, financial, health and fitness, physical environment, fun and recreation, spiritual, etc. By design, the rooms are not predefined since our priorities are our own. For the same reason, the size and dimension of the rooms were also left to the discretion of each person. If we felt our family or marriage was pinnacle, it received a larger room. This meant we added rooms, took down walls, consolidated, or simplified our blueprint based on the priorities as we see them.

Once the rooms were defined, we also rated our satisfaction in each area of our lives. Though this was an important piece, it was the thoughtfulness that went into the construct of the blueprint that was awe inspiring. One person realized the “work room” was not connected to their house – at all – when she thought about her day job; a clear indication that her career was not feeding her soul and stood outside herself. So, she started to move outside of today’s reality and construct what the perfect structure would look like as she envisioned her ideal career fitting into her life.

Similarly, another participant constructed her house with her family in the largest room, only to discover this didn’t represent the significance she wanted from her marriage. They weren't one in the same for her and I think it's safe to say the group collectively melted when she told us of the conversation she had with her husband when she declared she wanted to “..build a special and separate room for their marriage..”

And finally, we had the person who realized her relationships were historically relegated to the “mud room” and that this was no longer acceptable. She was creating a new vision for this room and declaring the necessary space as she started her reconstruction project.

It was powerful stuff – because everyone was realizing it is almost impossible to look at their careers independent from the rest of life. The reality is – we all want meaning from our work - but this is only possible when we align our vision of success, priorities and values to ensure our careers are an extension of what we want from life, not the other way around.

Now that the house schematic is solid, it’s time to start building...I expect a run on hardhats in the next few days.

Clarity is a Bitch!

Our focus this month is what we do well. It’s all about waking ourselves up to our natural talents, unearthing the skills we’ve developed over the years that give us energy, and standing back from our life and identifying what really peaks our interests so we can tap into our natural passions. This chapter excites me because it has allowed me to make some very important career decisions over the last few years.

I started the Positive Change Network (PCN) five years ago. I was a struggling entrepreneur and was contacted to do some contract work at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. While my work at PCN was feeding my soul, it wasn’t yet filling up my pocketbook. So, I committed to work at the foundation for a short period of time. After a few months in a part-time contract role, I was approached to take a full-time role. After much contemplation and discussion, I put my work at PCN on hold to join the important work of the foundation for one year.

Fast forward three years later and I was still at the foundation. I had been privileged to work with amazing people, I’d had the opportunity to play numerous roles so my learning was at a constant clip, and the content touched my heart on a deep personal level. Yet, over time I felt I was losing myself and was contemplating the right time to return to my work at PCN.

As I was thinking about leaving my day job after three rewarding years, the foundation was experiencing massive transitions. And as part of all this movement, I was offered the job of a lifetime. My manager and I both knew it was only a matter of time before I transitioned, which made me a perfect candidate for the job in question for a multitude of reasons. But, I was feeling more and more incongruent as my tenure continued and it was finally apparent my work was done. I was at a crossroad. It was time to check my ego at the door, and listen to my own voice.

I turned the job down - twice. It became apparent I was moving further and further away from what I do well and my passions. My strengths – like muscles – were starting to atrophy and my talents were becoming a shadow in my former self. I wasn’t happy, my engagement was suffering, and there was a calling waiting to be fulfilled.

My boss finally asked me why I turned this important job down I said, “Clarity is a bitch! Once you know why you’re here and what you’re supposed to do, moving too far off path becomes unacceptable. It’s time to return to my life’s work.”

As I think about this experience, it reminds me why I love this chapter so much. When I reached the crossroad, I took the path of empowerment and fulfillment. I am so excited to offer this gift to others.

Finding Your SuperPowers

We all have separate and distinct talents and gifts we bring to this world. On the simplest level, we have our talents that allow us to accomplish what we do with the most enjoyment and ease. These are represented by our feelings, attitudes and behaviors that come naturally and transport us to a place where we do our best work in the most authentic way. This was the most discussed topic in our meeting last night – how can we identify what we do naturally well so we can offer these gifts to the world through our work. These are our superpowers, if you will.

We can debate if these talents are god-given or take a more scientific route and learn about the synapses connections in the brain. I say, they are what they are. These are our unique offerings to the world and make us special. In fact, there’s not one other person in this world who has the combination and veracity of talents that you hold at this very moment. Your personal excellence is a monument to your ability to do these things time and time again, and with the utmost perfection. Repetition, an abundance of positive results, and requests for more of what you do well are all good signs of a talent. However, it’s the feeling of being energized in tandem that makes our talents really stand out. Our role right now is to surface these special and one-of-a-kind talents.

These aren’t skills we’ve learned – such as computer proficiency or shooting three-point basketball hoops. No, instead it’s the stuff that’s allowed you to accumulate the skills you’ve gathered over the years. For example, I’m good with the computer because…I’m deeply analytical…or, because it is an extension of my ability to think in an organized fashion. Or, shooting hoops is easy, because I can hear the swoosh of the net before the ball even leaves my hands…or I am disciplined and practice regularly.

These are the things that have defined you for as long as you can remember. They set you apart. They aren’t taught in a classroom, extracted from a book or learned from our parents (okay, maybe this is only half true), but instead, these morsels of goodness are inherent to who you are.

What are the things you do naturally well? Do you make sense of chaos? Always look on the bright side? Able to convey complex information so a four year old can understand it? Organize things? Generate ideas? Help people connect? Are you a truth-teller with diplomacy? Do people gravitate to you to help them solve problems? Are you able to drive ahead in the face of adversity? Keep people on task? Create harmony? Give voice to the underrepresented? Do you see the good in everyone, or help spot the gaps?

It is the beauty of self-discovery that allows us to claim our talents from the inside out. We all showed up last night after some self-reflection, but also have access to some tools that can provide insight into our natural talents. (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, VIA Strengths Assessment & the Strengths Finder) From my perspective, assessments provide just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the beauty of who you are and what you do naturally. But, they don't open the doors to the expansiveness of what you bring to this world that is unique and unreplicated by others. So, we’ll continue this conversation on longer with our peer-to-peer coach and hold off on the next chapter for now. After all, we have to know what our super powers are, before we put on the cape.

Motivation from the Inside Out

When I think about the times when I’ve felt most alive and energized at work, I was doing more of what I’m good at - less of the stuff I’d rather avoid. These are times I would characterize as high-points in my career, because I was enjoying myself. Having fun! In fact, I would also describe them as my most successful moments. Don’t get me wrong, not every aspect of my job was a treat; sometimes we just have to do things we’d rather avoid. But, I subscribe to the philosophy that everyone deserves the opportunity to do more of what they love; to feel joy and self-worth from the activities which monopolize so much of our focus, effort, and time.

In the same vein, our career has the potential to be a self-expression of who we are, a representation of what we value and stand for, and an extension of why we’re here. And, this is where most people - and employers - miss the mark. And, this is what our next four chapters are all about. Learning how to identify and tap into what gives us energy and motivates us from the inside out.

While this is the most exciting work – from my perspective – it can also be scary. At the end of these chapters our group will have a clear picture of what their good at, what’s most important in life and clear the brush around why they’re here and how this connects to our work. From this point of clearing – clarity arises.

For some, this will be a time of anticipation, curiosity and excitement as the picture comes into focus. Our members will start to understand how work can be an extension of who we are and connect to our purpose in life. I’ve seen this start to unfold already. One person in our group was feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from her work, but was awakened from her own voice. Now, she can clearly see how her job is creating a pathway to the vision of success she has for herself. A job that was once a drag on her psyche is now something she looks forward to and enjoys. We all deserve this.

For others, our next four chapters will stir moments of uncertainty. Like a well-intentioned sailboat – we’ll discover that we’ve tacked off-course and landed on the opposite shore in error. This is when we’ll honor the journey, collect the learnings, and look out at the horizon as we ask ourselves if we have the courage to follow our dreams as we lift the sails once more.