Please, Mind the Gap

The last few weeks have surfaced a nagging inner voice. Signs have been coming from all directions that the early work is dredging up too much about our deficits. More kryptonite moments – not enough super hero sightings.

While all this was swirling in my head, I received the final wake-up call this morning from Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, which is the foundation for much of this work. In this video, he reminds me of the power of understanding and focusing on what we do right, and why this is counterintuitive to many of us. Instead, we focus on the gaps, without the counterbalance of our strengths and virtues.

In the last few weeks, I’ve allowed my group and myself to be lured back into darkness of the gap – what needs to be fixed. I don’t know why I’m surprised. In so many ways, we have the propensity to be a gap-focused society. When I think about many work environments, policies are created to erect boundaries for the 10% who need to be wrangled in, our time is focused on underperformers, and our efforts are disproportionately focused on how to keep employees from the brink of dissatisfaction, while the real secrets of fulfillment in the workplace are relegated to the backseat.

Research tells us (Herzberg and Thomas) what creates satisfaction in the workplace is very different from what causes dissatisfaction. Disengagement comes from unfriendly company policies, bad supervisors & poor working conditions, but when they are working well - it is not enough to get folks excited on Monday morning. But that doesn't stop many business environments from focusing on the avoidance of dissatisfaction, without placing equal emphasis on what gets folks jazzed about work. To Seligman’s point, we’ve spent more time investigating how to avoid dysfunction, while missing the opportunity to create more high-functioning and happy folks.

This changes the focus and chapter review for our next meeting. I know people are motivated by meaningful work that leverages our strengths & competence. Choice and progress are critical as we move closer to achievement and success - as defined by us. So, this month I’ll move our strengths inventory to the front of the line so we can uncover how to bring more purpose and meaning to our work. Then, we'll politely say, “Please, Mind the Gap”.

Looking Through the Rear-view Mirror

I just returned from a leadership retreat with my husband in the beautiful Walla Walla Valley. Our key speaker on Friday was an energizing gentleman, Boaz Rauchwerger, who reminded us of the virtues of living a positive-minded life.

Boaz was full of short soundbites and one that stuck in my mind was, "I'm a car with no rear-view mirror". In other words, don't focus or dwell on the past, but put your attention on the present and what you want to create in the future. This is something I wholly subscribe to, but it was great to get a reminder.

On Saturday evening the festivities ended and many of us decided to gather over dinner. We traveled by van to the most amazing restaurant not far from Walla Walla called Whoopemup. (Yes, that is the real name and this is a shameless plug!) The restaurant was about 15 miles away from Walla Walla in a small town called Waitsberg. The ride was spectacular, but I was unfortunately sitting in the backward facing seat. Nonetheless, I could see the rolling hills were breathtaking, but I found myself really missing the anticipation of what was ahead. This, combined with my memory of getting car sick when I was a child, made the van ride less enjoyable than I would have liked.

As my husband and I prepared to leave Walla Walla yesterday, we discussed what route to take on the way back to Seattle. Without any hesitation I said, "I would love to take the route through Waitsberg so I could see the full rolling view of the mountains. I was so tired of seeing what's already past."

In that second, I realized this was a real life example and a great metaphor to bring Boaz's words to life. Looking through the rear-view mirror is no way to live our lives, especially in a twelve-passenger van.

Getting Out of the Way

We're wrapping up our first few chapters on personal excellence, so this is our time to take note of what we've learned about ourselves and create one or two personal development goals.

We are preparing to take an honest inventory of our self-understanding, what attitudes, beliefs and behaviors serve us, and what gets in our way of making tethered choices & taking action.

I believe this is the necessary preparation work often ignored when folks are looking for more success and fulfillment in the workplace. Too frequently we want to boil career satisfaction down to a simple talent/job match, and it's just not that one-dimensional. How we go about our work, cultivate relationships and achieve results is the foundation for success.

For many of us in the empowerment group, we've created habits, beliefs and attitudes that served us at some point in our life. Our assignment now - if we choose to accept it - is to figure out what we need to unlearn so we can create a more direct route to success. We'll do this by riding on our strengths, while ditching the things getting in our way.

Humble Pie

I wake up this morning and decide to eat some humble pie. The empowerment group discussed the introduction to our next chapter last night – Creating Energy through Action – before we wrapped up. Let’s just say it wasn’t my most clear and eloquent chapter.

In their true fashion, they were both honest and constructive. It became apparent I still have some work to do before its publisher worthy. Thank you ladies.

UGH…this entry is just about declaring the gratitude I feel for these amazing women who have entered my life and expect me to do my best. Tally Ho…

Passive Picker vs. Conscious Choice

The empowerment group gathered tonight and the kitchen table confessions solidified we’re very similar in our differences. The topic is how we’ve made career choices in the past. Though our circumstances and stories were different, the way we’ve made choices unites us. We have one outlier who solidified her ability to make firmly grounded and conscious career choices, which had us all looking on with envy. But, for the rest of us? We can best be described as pickers.

Being a Picker isn’t an unusual thing. With the exception of those folks who know they were destined to be concert pianist at the age of three, many of us entered the workforce searching for the ideal career. This group is no different. Though some enjoy our current careers, we realize our history is filled with examples of passive job choices. In the absence of really knowing why we’re here, how to bring our talents to work and create a career that is an extension of our priorities, we pick the best option available at the time. Pickers.

For me, my history was smattered with passive choices and there was little evidence of taking full responsibility for my career. Until a few years ago, I relied on others for recognition, advice and the next big challenge. When dissatisfaction settled in and the need to take back my power surfaced – I’d take a short-term approach and change jobs. Like many, I was moving away from what I didn’t want, while my true calling still eluded me. I was always happy for a while, until…..it was time to pick again.

This work isn't about changing jobs. As I've learned, that just moves the unconscious around. Our group is about taking back our power, showing up as our best self, and making conscious choices to fuel a new level of success. Nothing passive about that.