Something to Ponder...

I started my first class on the road to my master’s degree last week. I’m studying transpersonal psychology which takes a look at psychology and personal change through the lens of a wholeness approach to the mind, body and spirit connection. For those who’ve read the old posts, you know I’ve been intrigued by the spiritual component and how this impacts human potential for some time now.

Again, if you’re keeping up on our escapades – you probably know those who’ve embraced the concept of “magical thinking” have seen the best results. Yet, it’s intriguing, because we’ve never talked about religion, spirit, source or even dropped the G-word….until our last meeting. It was Jennifer’s words and the awkward silence that followed that still resonates with me today…”through this experience I’ve come to know God, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.”

In retrospect, maybe there wasn’t an awkward silence. Could this be my own hang-up?

After all, Brittany and Laura clearly talked about being spiritual. In our last meeting, Laura mentioned she’s realized she’s always been spiritual being, but maybe not religious, per se. Brittany – well you gotta love her – she’s never hidden the lovely esoteric side or her Buddhist beliefs. In the beginning, it made her stand out a little and somehow, talk a different language. Today, it’s as if we’ve come closer to seeing the world through her eyes.

Or, have I changed or evolved?

Something to ponder in my studies….

Thankful

I have many things to be thankful for on this day. Having a wonderful and supportive family and a husband who always believes in me -- even when it doesn't make sense. Being blessed by simple abundance and having the privilege of loving what I do for the living. And, of course…finding WiFi and Starbucks coffee on Thanksgiving Day in this small town of Shelton, Washington.

On this day, I also receive a few touching emails from the women of this group. It appears they too are feeling grateful and appreciative of our journey over the last year. To all of them, I am eternally grateful that you’ve come into my life. I am a richer person as a result of our friendship. I look forward to honoring this special bond and know in my heart it will last a lifetime.

Enjoy this wonderful day!

The Play Area Exchange

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I’m in the grocery store. I’m excited to hear what’s on Laura’s mind when her name pops-up on my phone. I find a quiet corner near the deli counter where I won’t encroach on anyone’s holiday shopping.

Laura spirits are mostly high these days and it's contagious. Not in a Pollyanna sort of way, but instead really balanced. She’s been incredibly open to following her intuition since our work two months ago and trusting the process. Since then, the signals and resources continue to come to her attention regarding her innovative bag concept. Last month, she attended a meeting that offered her resources for manufacturing in China, an example of someone who launched an accessory company with little design experience, and a woman who successfully brought to life her own dream of designing a successful cosmetic bag. By the way, these addressed all the concerns Laura had regarding next steps. Done.

Today, Laura is at the airport and waiting for a flight. She heads over to the play area with her son and strikes up a conversation with another mother. They chat about children, the holiday travels, and almost as an afterthought, exchange information regarding what they do for a living before they part ways for their respective flights. As Laura excitingly explains, the other mother is a bag designer! This time, she gets the insight she needs on how to find the fabric she's identified. Done.

It's almost as if every time Laura puts this project in a drawer so she can focus on life, small tugs keep coming back to remind her of the intentions she put out on October 7th at the Columbia Tower Club. It's not just about the bag any longer; it's about knowing her dreams have been put out into the gap that holds infinite possibilities. In spirit, she's already a successful entrepreneur and now she just needs to take small steps, see where it takes her, and be open to what's she being called to do next.

It’s the beginning of a spectacular adventure – this I know for sure.

Too Good to Quit Now

We congregate six weeks post coming out party. The energy is palpable and the conversation brisk as we attempt to catch up on each other’s lives before the official kick-off of the meeting. It’s been too long – we agree. And, there is a daunting awareness that the clock is ticking as we move closer to our final meeting in December. So much so, you can hear comments on how we’ll miss the energy, discovery and accountability once the New Year is upon us.

The impending demise of the group causes us to spend the night vacillating between the success of the coming out party and reminiscing about the beginning of this amazing journey in comparison to our lives today. We know we’ve evolved in ways unimaginable just eleven months ago. Brittany is doing art again, is traveling to India to fulfill a dream, and has given herself permission to trust the right things will come her way. This couldn’t be further away from Brittany’s steadfast conviction she couldn’t blend art and work. Laura shows up tonight exuding confidence, is living more in the moment, and knows innovation is the secret to loving work. I’m convinced this is the start of a whole new chapter in her life. I could go on and on; Jennifer who is now guided by spirit and the clarity she’s here to create a connectedness across cultures. Or, Meg who’s continuing her journey and vows to relive the lessons until she has the same level of clarity many of us enjoy today. I’m excited about the stories that are unfolding.

Kelly also joins us after missing the party in October. We are in awe of her courage, honesty and vulnerability as she talks about her inner struggle that held her hostage that night. People echo the sentiments I shared individually with Kelly in our last check-in; we miss her when she doesn’t show up. She has an innate ability to ask insightful questions and brings a depth to our conversations. Kelly assures us she’s taking the necessary steps to be kinder to herself. The conversation serves as a reminder that this work can be very challenging. And for that reason, I am even more proud of those who’ve had the courage to throw themselves into this experiment whole-heartily, take risks and go after what they want.

As we relive our experiences, we revel in the success we’ve created together. A community has been built that defines words. And, we realize we’re not done. It's too good to quit now. Stopping would be premature. The group is on a roll and we are ready to put some energy into our dreams. Therefore, we opt to continue our gatherings into 2010.

We hope you’ll come along.

A Shift in Thinking

For those folks who secretly read my blog – sorry for the blackout period. I’ve been furthering my education in the techniques and therapies I use in my consulting and coaching practice. (NLP and Hypnosis) The last few weeks have been intensive and life-changing. And, I’m glad to be back…

First, I confirmed what I already knew from my work over the last eleven months. We can want anything we desire on the conscious level, but if one’s subconscious isn’t on board – we get stuck, don’t take action or self-sabotage. Our limiting beliefs or negative emotions chain us to the themes we’ve created in our life, career or relationships…and the cycle continues. It’s like Brittany vacillating between right-brain work where she feels happy and fulfilled…and then moving to left brain work for its perceived stability…it’s as if she couldn’t see those two worlds existing together. Now, she’s brought those parts together and is exploring options for the future. And, this was after a very brief intervention and a stand-alone technique.

I’ve always known the alternative therapies of NLP were powerful, but the results over the last few weeks have been amazing. So much so, I’m confused why mainstream coaches, therapists and yes, even businesses aren’t embracing this powerful toolbox. If we can remove mental barriers through a comprehensive break-through session in a period of hours, allowing us to be more productive, creative, empowered, successful and happy – why aren’t more people doing it?

I’ve had good conversations about his topic over the last few months. There are a few folks in the group that believe that change takes time, even years, and we can’t change our beliefs or release negative emotions that hold us captive. I think we need a shift in thinking. I say hold on to that belief until you are ready to experience rapid change and step into your full potential in a whole new way.

Look out world, here I come!

Phony Positivity

I was inflamed and disappointed listening to NPR today. Disappointed because I like Barbara Enrenreigh, but annoyed by the interview on her new book, Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. I think the title speaks for itself. Based on our experiment, I say she couldn’t be more wrong.

I haven’t read the book, but I found her anecdotal approach just depressing. I suspect the book is rich with information to support her argument, but I couldn’t help but wonder how her pessimistic and overly skeptical intellectual approach blocked her capacity to see the all the evidence, as well, that points to the benefits of positive thinking. Our group is living proof that taking a more optimistic and resilient mindset allows us to shift perspectives, and creates a pathway for a new reality.

I certainly felt compassion for Ehrenreigh’s battle with cancer, as this appears to be the impetus for this anti-positivity campaign. Apparently, she was annoyed by the “phony positively” in the cancer movement. Hello!&# Has she never heard of the power of hope? And, how was she able to judge the intentions and content in other’s minds?

When I met Ericka, from the career empowerment group, almost fourteen years ago I thought she was a total fake. Nobody could be that upbeat, happy and hardy all the time, I thought. Because I wasn’t seeing life through my current rose colored glasses, I made the judgment she wasn’t being real. Maybe Ehrenreigh is making the same judgment I made years ago, and painting all of the US with her broad, pessimistic brush.

Oh, it would have been great if the journalist could have just challenged her thinking, just a bit. Don't worry - I sent them an email.

Speed Dating for Authors

I was ecstatic when I saw the New York area code pop up on my phone. Instinctively, I knew it was a publisher or agent calling to inquire about In Search of Soul Food.

The publishing industry has a certain eHarmony quality to it. You start by sending a brief letter seeing if you can peak their interest. They often play hard to get. I assume based on the outlandish backlog caused by a million people, like me, who feel destined and qualified to write a book. It can take weeks or months to hear back. And, even if they do reply, the response is often short and sweet. So, let’s be honest - getting a phone call this early in the process was like speed dating without notice. I was excited and knew I had only a few minutes to explain the magic.

We ended up talking more about what the book wasn’t early in the conversation…it wasn’t about finding a job. It’s not a prescriptive how-to career guide or mid-career transition guide, per se. In fact, many of the women featured in this book have already taken that route and come up empty handed. No, In Search of Soul Food is different because it contains real-life stories of eleven women who learn the principles of authentic career satisfaction and take their happiness squarely into their own hands.

But it was hard for her to digest that this book wasn’t a traditional career book. Even the word soul awkwardly stumbled out of her mouth as she attempted to complement the book proposal. After all, it was apparent she a devote thinker - like many in my group – and this work is not meant to be intellectualized, but experienced if you want to understand it and allow it to change your life. Finding work that feeds the soul entails letting go of the rational, predictable, thinking mind – if only momentarily – so you can revel in the mystery of life and gather the clues to your life’s work. Even the term soul food or the cliché music that touches the soul attempts to convey an experience that warms or lifts us – in an intangible or sometimes indescribable way. That’s what this book is about; learning to listen and take heed of the soul’s musings so you can create a career, and a life, that warms you from the inside out.

I thanked her for her time, the valuable feedback, and said out loud she probably wasn't right for this project. I know this seems silly for a first-time author, but I need someone who gets it. And, the bell was ringing telling me it was time for another conversation…next!!