I was inflamed and disappointed listening to NPR today. Disappointed because I like Barbara Enrenreigh, but annoyed by the interview on her new book, Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. I think the title speaks for itself. Based on our experiment, I say she couldn’t be more wrong.
I haven’t read the book, but I found her anecdotal approach just depressing. I suspect the book is rich with information to support her argument, but I couldn’t help but wonder how her pessimistic and overly skeptical intellectual approach blocked her capacity to see the all the evidence, as well, that points to the benefits of positive thinking. Our group is living proof that taking a more optimistic and resilient mindset allows us to shift perspectives, and creates a pathway for a new reality.
I certainly felt compassion for Ehrenreigh’s battle with cancer, as this appears to be the impetus for this anti-positivity campaign. Apparently, she was annoyed by the “phony positively” in the cancer movement. Hello!&# Has she never heard of the power of hope? And, how was she able to judge the intentions and content in other’s minds?
When I met Ericka, from the career empowerment group, almost fourteen years ago I thought she was a total fake. Nobody could be that upbeat, happy and hardy all the time, I thought. Because I wasn’t seeing life through my current rose colored glasses, I made the judgment she wasn’t being real. Maybe Ehrenreigh is making the same judgment I made years ago, and painting all of the US with her broad, pessimistic brush.
Oh, it would have been great if the journalist could have just challenged her thinking, just a bit. Don't worry - I sent them an email.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Speed Dating for Authors
I was ecstatic when I saw the New York area code pop up on my phone. Instinctively, I knew it was a publisher or agent calling to inquire about In Search of Soul Food.
The publishing industry has a certain eHarmony quality to it. You start by sending a brief letter seeing if you can peak their interest. They often play hard to get. I assume based on the outlandish backlog caused by a million people, like me, who feel destined and qualified to write a book. It can take weeks or months to hear back. And, even if they do reply, the response is often short and sweet. So, let’s be honest - getting a phone call this early in the process was like speed dating without notice. I was excited and knew I had only a few minutes to explain the magic.
We ended up talking more about what the book wasn’t early in the conversation…it wasn’t about finding a job. It’s not a prescriptive how-to career guide or mid-career transition guide, per se. In fact, many of the women featured in this book have already taken that route and come up empty handed. No, In Search of Soul Food is different because it contains real-life stories of eleven women who learn the principles of authentic career satisfaction and take their happiness squarely into their own hands.
But it was hard for her to digest that this book wasn’t a traditional career book. Even the word soul awkwardly stumbled out of her mouth as she attempted to complement the book proposal. After all, it was apparent she a devote thinker - like many in my group – and this work is not meant to be intellectualized, but experienced if you want to understand it and allow it to change your life. Finding work that feeds the soul entails letting go of the rational, predictable, thinking mind – if only momentarily – so you can revel in the mystery of life and gather the clues to your life’s work. Even the term soul food or the cliché music that touches the soul attempts to convey an experience that warms or lifts us – in an intangible or sometimes indescribable way. That’s what this book is about; learning to listen and take heed of the soul’s musings so you can create a career, and a life, that warms you from the inside out.
I thanked her for her time, the valuable feedback, and said out loud she probably wasn't right for this project. I know this seems silly for a first-time author, but I need someone who gets it. And, the bell was ringing telling me it was time for another conversation…next!!
The publishing industry has a certain eHarmony quality to it. You start by sending a brief letter seeing if you can peak their interest. They often play hard to get. I assume based on the outlandish backlog caused by a million people, like me, who feel destined and qualified to write a book. It can take weeks or months to hear back. And, even if they do reply, the response is often short and sweet. So, let’s be honest - getting a phone call this early in the process was like speed dating without notice. I was excited and knew I had only a few minutes to explain the magic.
We ended up talking more about what the book wasn’t early in the conversation…it wasn’t about finding a job. It’s not a prescriptive how-to career guide or mid-career transition guide, per se. In fact, many of the women featured in this book have already taken that route and come up empty handed. No, In Search of Soul Food is different because it contains real-life stories of eleven women who learn the principles of authentic career satisfaction and take their happiness squarely into their own hands.
But it was hard for her to digest that this book wasn’t a traditional career book. Even the word soul awkwardly stumbled out of her mouth as she attempted to complement the book proposal. After all, it was apparent she a devote thinker - like many in my group – and this work is not meant to be intellectualized, but experienced if you want to understand it and allow it to change your life. Finding work that feeds the soul entails letting go of the rational, predictable, thinking mind – if only momentarily – so you can revel in the mystery of life and gather the clues to your life’s work. Even the term soul food or the cliché music that touches the soul attempts to convey an experience that warms or lifts us – in an intangible or sometimes indescribable way. That’s what this book is about; learning to listen and take heed of the soul’s musings so you can create a career, and a life, that warms you from the inside out.
I thanked her for her time, the valuable feedback, and said out loud she probably wasn't right for this project. I know this seems silly for a first-time author, but I need someone who gets it. And, the bell was ringing telling me it was time for another conversation…next!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
No Such Thing as Luck!
It was the first meeting of my new wealth book club and title on our reading list was The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. As the evening was wrapping up, one member declared this guy was just a young person who got lucky. After all, how else could someone make the same income in one week that they used to make in an entire year? And, it was like I had turrets syndrome when I blurted out, “I don’t believe in luck.” I said it so quickly I even caught myself off guard. This was not a sentence I would have constructed a few years ago.
I’ve thought about this statement for the last week and I’ve determined – yes, luck doesn’t exist. There may be synchronicity, but even that phenomena takes action to make things happen. This shift in belief is certainly an outcome of my work over the last year. We talked a lot about Cause and Effect in our group, but maybe we didn't give this conversation enough credence. What is apparent is that those who sit on the cause side of the equation see results within their reach and envision the possibilities by optimizing resilient, optimistic thinking to come up with resources, creative ideas and solutions that didn't exist for most. For Ferris, he must of said to himself, I believe I can work four hours a day and make more money...now, how do I make that happen?
The flip side is sitting on the disempowering side of the equation and responding to things like they are out of our control. For these folks, sitting on the effect side puts self-designed obstacles or circumstances squarely in their path. Reasons and excuses populate their conversations and they sound like a victim most of the time. No wonder they can’t get what they want…maybe they’re waiting for their luck to change?
Yes, even winning the lottery takes buying a ticket and acting with intention. So what do you believe?
I’ve thought about this statement for the last week and I’ve determined – yes, luck doesn’t exist. There may be synchronicity, but even that phenomena takes action to make things happen. This shift in belief is certainly an outcome of my work over the last year. We talked a lot about Cause and Effect in our group, but maybe we didn't give this conversation enough credence. What is apparent is that those who sit on the cause side of the equation see results within their reach and envision the possibilities by optimizing resilient, optimistic thinking to come up with resources, creative ideas and solutions that didn't exist for most. For Ferris, he must of said to himself, I believe I can work four hours a day and make more money...now, how do I make that happen?
The flip side is sitting on the disempowering side of the equation and responding to things like they are out of our control. For these folks, sitting on the effect side puts self-designed obstacles or circumstances squarely in their path. Reasons and excuses populate their conversations and they sound like a victim most of the time. No wonder they can’t get what they want…maybe they’re waiting for their luck to change?
Yes, even winning the lottery takes buying a ticket and acting with intention. So what do you believe?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Lipstick without a Dream
I received her email a few hours before the coming out party. Though she said she'd be late to our celebration, my gut told me she wouldn’t show up at all that evening. As I drove to the Columbia Tower Club, I brushed off my projected disappointment and put myself back into character and prepared to enjoy the evening.
I only knew Kelly on a cursory level when she joined the group last January. Though we were distant colleagues in a past life, she was still a virtual stranger. I was a little perplexed as to why she wanted to join the group, even after our interview. She always seemed so confident and articulate. She’s wicked smart – a Columbia grad – and she projects a rare of combination of critical thinking, compassion and curiousity. Her career is a smattering of interesting and eclectic career paths, but she was still searching: social work, martial arts, working with youth, coaching, and for the last few years she’s worked in a project and support capacity. She is underutilized and frustrated, but even after our initial meeting – I wonder if she’ll help others more than we’ll help her.
But, looks can be deceiving. Kelly proved to be a complex person. Though all the raw ingredients are present – there’s a shadow in Kelly that keeps her small and blocks her ability to hear her soul. Her mind is inhabited by unproductive strategies that have become her constant companions and, it’s as if they self-sabotage her ability to fully embrace and leverage all that is good in her. In our meetings, she’d open up, let us in briefly and then, surrender to the comfortable. Then, we wouldn’t hear from Kelly for a while, even when she physically showed up for our meetings. That's why I knew she wasn't coming to our celebration.
The party was in full force when we finally connected on the phone. She was still home, lipstick on, but she conveyed she had little to say about next year, let along five years from now. She didn't have a dream. I acquiesce. I’ve come to love her, so I wade in disappointment only momentarily before I assure her it’s okay.
When we meet today, she assures me she's in a good spot, her progress is slow, but there are real moments of realization. And, I understand change takes time when we have a lifetime of emotions, behaviors and habits that get in our way. Especially, if we believe they are holding us captive and we are powerless. After all, I've learned we are what we think.
For whatever reason, Kelly wasn’t able to create the clearing she needed so she could design a career that is an extension of who she is at her best, because she's still figuring that out. I suspect happiness sometimes seeps in slowly…and it needs more assistance than a well-intentioned novice. And, as she takes the step to get some outside assistance I know...her soul is waiting patiently...until she's ready to hear the whispers.
I only knew Kelly on a cursory level when she joined the group last January. Though we were distant colleagues in a past life, she was still a virtual stranger. I was a little perplexed as to why she wanted to join the group, even after our interview. She always seemed so confident and articulate. She’s wicked smart – a Columbia grad – and she projects a rare of combination of critical thinking, compassion and curiousity. Her career is a smattering of interesting and eclectic career paths, but she was still searching: social work, martial arts, working with youth, coaching, and for the last few years she’s worked in a project and support capacity. She is underutilized and frustrated, but even after our initial meeting – I wonder if she’ll help others more than we’ll help her.
But, looks can be deceiving. Kelly proved to be a complex person. Though all the raw ingredients are present – there’s a shadow in Kelly that keeps her small and blocks her ability to hear her soul. Her mind is inhabited by unproductive strategies that have become her constant companions and, it’s as if they self-sabotage her ability to fully embrace and leverage all that is good in her. In our meetings, she’d open up, let us in briefly and then, surrender to the comfortable. Then, we wouldn’t hear from Kelly for a while, even when she physically showed up for our meetings. That's why I knew she wasn't coming to our celebration.
The party was in full force when we finally connected on the phone. She was still home, lipstick on, but she conveyed she had little to say about next year, let along five years from now. She didn't have a dream. I acquiesce. I’ve come to love her, so I wade in disappointment only momentarily before I assure her it’s okay.
When we meet today, she assures me she's in a good spot, her progress is slow, but there are real moments of realization. And, I understand change takes time when we have a lifetime of emotions, behaviors and habits that get in our way. Especially, if we believe they are holding us captive and we are powerless. After all, I've learned we are what we think.
For whatever reason, Kelly wasn’t able to create the clearing she needed so she could design a career that is an extension of who she is at her best, because she's still figuring that out. I suspect happiness sometimes seeps in slowly…and it needs more assistance than a well-intentioned novice. And, as she takes the step to get some outside assistance I know...her soul is waiting patiently...until she's ready to hear the whispers.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Coming Out Party
Last night the women of In Search of Soul Food came out to the world – and it happened on the 75th floor of the Columbia Tower Club. The date was October 7th, 2014, as we fast-forwarded to our first career empowerment reunion. The power and authenticity in the room was palpable. While the Seattle landscape glowed in the sunset, we mingled over champagne and hugs as the stories started to fly.
Here’s the headline: my whole life was changed. As you can imagine, capturing this will make a lengthy blog entry, so sit back and relax.
Tales of finding deep career passion and seeing it spill into other areas of her life was Laura’s entry point into the conversation. We shared her excitement about the launch of the handbag company and stepping into her dream of organizing the masses. We mused over her families’ move to San Francisco and taking to the water to fulfill a desire to sail around the world with her husband. And, you can feel the presence of a woman who believes in herself as she expresses the gratitude from stepping into happiness and being a solid role model for her son.
Family is theme for Ericka, as well. Dressed in attire from Italy, she shares a heartfelt tale of impacting her family’s life in wonderful ways through the prosperity generated from her fitness business that focuses on body and soul: early retirement for her mom, awakening her children to environmental issues through awe-inspiring travel, and the blessing of working in partnership with her beloved husband…all on the pathway to notoriety.
Vicki shows up looking radiant and is also getting folks healthy. She’s using her first-hand knowledge and the compassion generated from her own journey of taking back her life. Through our work, she came to understand she could change her physiology by changing her thoughts - a powerful message. Today, she educates and guides others to heal themselves through the integration of healthy nutrition, exercise and self-talk. She exudes her motto - you are what you eat - and touches peoples’ lives through coaching, consulting with organizations and works with youth on proactive interventions.
Meg also unveils the woman she’s become. She tells us of her life of gratitude, stepping into her potential, and the realization she was looking for happiness, when it was right in front of her. She’s traveled Europe and Asia - which explains the delightful shoes from Paris – has married and is the proud mother of a young child. On the career front, she returned to real estate part-time with a renewed sense of vigor, while ensuring she’s left enough time to pursue her passion of entertaining. It appears the right ingredients were there all along, she just needed to shift the way she saw the world.
Amy flaunts the fact that she’s forty with a sexy black number that also declares she’s loving life in a whole new way. Amy warms us with stories of her children’s activities and adventures, and you realize without question that family comes first. She's reinvigorated her career and started an executive search firm from her home in Bainbridge, but balance is still a guiding force. Her firm focuses on the non-profit space. They recruit the most talented thought-leaders for this growing segment and is proud to contribute to the task of building capacity in this all-important sector. And...we swoon when she tells us rowing is back in her life.
Brittany shows up in full force, as well. She’s embraced her uniqueness and has found a way to balance a more traditional career path with her entrepreneurial flair, while still making room for her dreams. The group was grateful to hear she’s back in the studio and focusing on her artwork; painting for peace is contributing to the important conversation around how to bring together prayer, meditation and painting for healing purposes. While her dreams have unfolded, she’s traveled to India, stepped into the teacher role that comes so naturally and has watched her daughter grow into a wonderful young woman who’s off to college next year to follow her own dreams.
Kathryn joins us from a life on the road where she also changes people’s lives. She's a worldwide emissary for Mindbloom (a personal development on-line site that has redefined the how people track and realize their dreams), she runs the Dahlia Mama Retreat Centers, and her successful book, Life in Boxes, is on bookshelves everywhere. Through the lens of her own experiences, she is helping people to realize who they really are by peeling back the layers and awakening them to the spirit that resides in each of us.
Jennifer represents East meets West and her own spiritual awakening in her spectacular Indian inspired attire. And, the Universe has responded in spectacular ways. First, she is an advocate for living in the present, honoring the balance between work and family, and serving others. Her life's work unfolded five years ago and today she runs a company with a partner that breaks down global boundaries by introducing families to humanitarian, life-changing travel outside the US. Their purpose is to raise the awareness and address the issue of global poverty. Her two children are her constant travel companions, providing Jennifer and her husband with the opportunity to enrich their children’s education in priceless ways.
In my first career empowerment group five years ago, I also confirmed my life’s work. I’m here to guide individuals to step into their full potential and create a career that is an extension of who we are when we’re at our best. I am a successful author, speaker and career coach, but more important, In Search of Soul Food created a movement of people who took their career fulfillment into their own hands. Self-organized groups have popped up in organizations and communities across the globe. The Positive Change Network has grown to include licensed career coaches, a renewal center where people come to find their authentic self, a radio show, and we’ll soon be on TV. We’re teaching people how to love work again – one person at a time.
Here’s the headline: my whole life was changed. As you can imagine, capturing this will make a lengthy blog entry, so sit back and relax.
Tales of finding deep career passion and seeing it spill into other areas of her life was Laura’s entry point into the conversation. We shared her excitement about the launch of the handbag company and stepping into her dream of organizing the masses. We mused over her families’ move to San Francisco and taking to the water to fulfill a desire to sail around the world with her husband. And, you can feel the presence of a woman who believes in herself as she expresses the gratitude from stepping into happiness and being a solid role model for her son.
Family is theme for Ericka, as well. Dressed in attire from Italy, she shares a heartfelt tale of impacting her family’s life in wonderful ways through the prosperity generated from her fitness business that focuses on body and soul: early retirement for her mom, awakening her children to environmental issues through awe-inspiring travel, and the blessing of working in partnership with her beloved husband…all on the pathway to notoriety.
Vicki shows up looking radiant and is also getting folks healthy. She’s using her first-hand knowledge and the compassion generated from her own journey of taking back her life. Through our work, she came to understand she could change her physiology by changing her thoughts - a powerful message. Today, she educates and guides others to heal themselves through the integration of healthy nutrition, exercise and self-talk. She exudes her motto - you are what you eat - and touches peoples’ lives through coaching, consulting with organizations and works with youth on proactive interventions.
Meg also unveils the woman she’s become. She tells us of her life of gratitude, stepping into her potential, and the realization she was looking for happiness, when it was right in front of her. She’s traveled Europe and Asia - which explains the delightful shoes from Paris – has married and is the proud mother of a young child. On the career front, she returned to real estate part-time with a renewed sense of vigor, while ensuring she’s left enough time to pursue her passion of entertaining. It appears the right ingredients were there all along, she just needed to shift the way she saw the world.
Amy flaunts the fact that she’s forty with a sexy black number that also declares she’s loving life in a whole new way. Amy warms us with stories of her children’s activities and adventures, and you realize without question that family comes first. She's reinvigorated her career and started an executive search firm from her home in Bainbridge, but balance is still a guiding force. Her firm focuses on the non-profit space. They recruit the most talented thought-leaders for this growing segment and is proud to contribute to the task of building capacity in this all-important sector. And...we swoon when she tells us rowing is back in her life.
Brittany shows up in full force, as well. She’s embraced her uniqueness and has found a way to balance a more traditional career path with her entrepreneurial flair, while still making room for her dreams. The group was grateful to hear she’s back in the studio and focusing on her artwork; painting for peace is contributing to the important conversation around how to bring together prayer, meditation and painting for healing purposes. While her dreams have unfolded, she’s traveled to India, stepped into the teacher role that comes so naturally and has watched her daughter grow into a wonderful young woman who’s off to college next year to follow her own dreams.
Kathryn joins us from a life on the road where she also changes people’s lives. She's a worldwide emissary for Mindbloom (a personal development on-line site that has redefined the how people track and realize their dreams), she runs the Dahlia Mama Retreat Centers, and her successful book, Life in Boxes, is on bookshelves everywhere. Through the lens of her own experiences, she is helping people to realize who they really are by peeling back the layers and awakening them to the spirit that resides in each of us.
Jennifer represents East meets West and her own spiritual awakening in her spectacular Indian inspired attire. And, the Universe has responded in spectacular ways. First, she is an advocate for living in the present, honoring the balance between work and family, and serving others. Her life's work unfolded five years ago and today she runs a company with a partner that breaks down global boundaries by introducing families to humanitarian, life-changing travel outside the US. Their purpose is to raise the awareness and address the issue of global poverty. Her two children are her constant travel companions, providing Jennifer and her husband with the opportunity to enrich their children’s education in priceless ways.
In my first career empowerment group five years ago, I also confirmed my life’s work. I’m here to guide individuals to step into their full potential and create a career that is an extension of who we are when we’re at our best. I am a successful author, speaker and career coach, but more important, In Search of Soul Food created a movement of people who took their career fulfillment into their own hands. Self-organized groups have popped up in organizations and communities across the globe. The Positive Change Network has grown to include licensed career coaches, a renewal center where people come to find their authentic self, a radio show, and we’ll soon be on TV. We’re teaching people how to love work again – one person at a time.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The New Arrival
An unfortunate illness and surgery had invited her to take care of herself, so I hadn’t seen her for almost two months when we met yesterday. I am delighted to tell you the person emerging was awe-inspiring and vastly different from the woman I met a year ago.
Sadly, she was the only one who made the cut from Craig’s list. And, if you’ve read the earliest blogs, she’s the person that came equipped with a can of mace and her phone predialed to 911. And, though my affection for Meg has only deepened with time – I couldn’t help but love Meg the first time I met her in that coffee shop. You know instantly, she’s the real deal – no façade, an honest smile, and with a rare combination of drive and guts you want to know more about. Her intellect is obvious, yet skepticism is a frequent companion that shows up in her playfulness and sense of humor.
After a successful career in real estate, she decided to return to her earlier roots on the operational side of the business when she moved to Seattle. Two dismal attempts at employment in this new city led Meg to answer my blind classified ad, but I think it’s fair to say she still wasn’t sure why she signed up for this year-long experiment when she arrived at my house for the first time. Like me, the group took to Meg right away. We couldn’t help ourselves; she’s the kind of friend you want at any girl’s night out, yet I suspect she’s equally welcome to hang out with the guys, as well.
And, Meg is so comfortable in her own skin that speaking up came naturally when the ideas, exercises or instruction seemed counter intuitive to her rational convictions. This was most prevalent in the early months; the idea of finding a reflective practice, getting more self- aware, keeping a gratitude journal or searching for the good in everyone seemed a little too Pollyanna for Meg. And, she told us so – in her own words, of course. And, this kept Meg a little stalled, but never deterred.
Yet, it's been lovely to witness the subtle shifts in perspective and hear what she believes in today – starting with herself. When she arrives this time she looks healthy, vibrant, exudes self-assurance, talks of the introspection and important realizations, and confesses she’s learned to take stock in what she’s grateful for; it's changing the way she looks at life. She even confesses she has a new gratitude journal. Meg, like most of us, is realizing that if we change our view of the world – we can find the hidden opportunities for happiness in our careers.
Now Meg has a clearing. So, it's time for her to take another look at the inventory of what she does when she's at her best and what's most important in life. It's finally time for her to bring the puzzle pieces together so she can see the picture of what's next.
And, I can’t wait to see who shows up on October 7th at the Coming Out Party.
Sadly, she was the only one who made the cut from Craig’s list. And, if you’ve read the earliest blogs, she’s the person that came equipped with a can of mace and her phone predialed to 911. And, though my affection for Meg has only deepened with time – I couldn’t help but love Meg the first time I met her in that coffee shop. You know instantly, she’s the real deal – no façade, an honest smile, and with a rare combination of drive and guts you want to know more about. Her intellect is obvious, yet skepticism is a frequent companion that shows up in her playfulness and sense of humor.
After a successful career in real estate, she decided to return to her earlier roots on the operational side of the business when she moved to Seattle. Two dismal attempts at employment in this new city led Meg to answer my blind classified ad, but I think it’s fair to say she still wasn’t sure why she signed up for this year-long experiment when she arrived at my house for the first time. Like me, the group took to Meg right away. We couldn’t help ourselves; she’s the kind of friend you want at any girl’s night out, yet I suspect she’s equally welcome to hang out with the guys, as well.
And, Meg is so comfortable in her own skin that speaking up came naturally when the ideas, exercises or instruction seemed counter intuitive to her rational convictions. This was most prevalent in the early months; the idea of finding a reflective practice, getting more self- aware, keeping a gratitude journal or searching for the good in everyone seemed a little too Pollyanna for Meg. And, she told us so – in her own words, of course. And, this kept Meg a little stalled, but never deterred.
Yet, it's been lovely to witness the subtle shifts in perspective and hear what she believes in today – starting with herself. When she arrives this time she looks healthy, vibrant, exudes self-assurance, talks of the introspection and important realizations, and confesses she’s learned to take stock in what she’s grateful for; it's changing the way she looks at life. She even confesses she has a new gratitude journal. Meg, like most of us, is realizing that if we change our view of the world – we can find the hidden opportunities for happiness in our careers.
Now Meg has a clearing. So, it's time for her to take another look at the inventory of what she does when she's at her best and what's most important in life. It's finally time for her to bring the puzzle pieces together so she can see the picture of what's next.
And, I can’t wait to see who shows up on October 7th at the Coming Out Party.
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